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terrible day

  • juwelkeeper
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16 May 12 #330950 by juwelkeeper
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Having to sort out all the tax credits and child benifits . So had to dig out birth certs and stuff where we keep all the important documents . And inside that box is basically our life together from when we brought our house to all our insurance and other important documents ,then a bloody photo fell out with my wife on it i just burst in to tears and was struggling to keep it together. This torture is something else. I really am struggling the more it goes on instead of things getting better. i just cant see any end to this nightmare and i am so close to total crack up . Im just walking around like a zombie ,she might has well stuck a gun to my head.

  • donkler
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16 May 12 #330962 by donkler
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I know how this feels matey its not nice at all.

I have to be thankful most of our photos are digital, but 12 months ago I wanted to burn the lot, Cd''s, DVD''s SD cards etc... She took them and subsequently returned them, now shes leaving our MH - I have secretly taken them from her possesions and I know one day, in a few years time, I will look through them.

I think thats called on the road to recovery.

Im a few miles up that road, but if I glance behind me, I can see you coming.

Chin up mate

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16 May 12 #330965 by ConfusedDad
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It really is so hard in the early days, everything reminds you of her and you can''t help but look and then look some more. As Donkler says it does get easier but at the beginning it is so awful. You have to just go with it and know that you won''t always feel like this. It''s so sad and you can''t make sense of it but you try and try. I feel for you, we all do.

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16 May 12 #330968 by juwelkeeper
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Living in the house we set home up in don''t really help . Memories are jumping out at you all the time its bloody painful. I keep thinking about selling up but i cant afford to buy another place and rent would be my only option , and the kids are settled in this house. A right catch 22 situation.

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16 May 12 #330969 by ConfusedDad
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Been there and thought the same thing. In fact I still do think should I sell but I realise that how I felt, how I feel and how I will feel are all going to be different and I shouldn''t make any knee jerk decisions. There''s no race to do anything and you are likely to regret it. Just think of it as treading water for now until you feel a bit better. I know it''s not easy but really don''t do or say anything that you could regret later.

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16 May 12 #330970 by yellowrose
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Hi Juwelkeeper

I can identify completely with how you feel and my heart goes out to you. When I was doing a similar thing I found the condoms he used to use when he snook round to her house after I''d left for work. The pain was worse than anything I''d felt up til then. I am further down the road than you but having a rough few days. However I know I will be O.K because if I''m not he''s won on every level and I can''t allow that to happen.

You will be O.K too. Please keep telling yourself that and when you feel like you just can''t take any more, cry, scream, thump a pillow and pretend it''s whoever you want it to be - anything to give you the release you need. And remember we are all here for you.

xxxxxx

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16 May 12 #330973 by samchik1
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Yes...it''s funny how those boxes full of important documents that were stuck in the corner somewhere hold such significance.

I too was recently sifting through them for child benefit and tax credit documents recently. They really do tell the story of our relationship in chronological order. I also felt very emotional going through it all.

Can also relate to living in the same house. Memories are everywhere and it is almost impossible to find an object in the house that does not remind me of her or have some memory of her attached to it.

I can only sympathise. It truly is a living hell. Sometimes I''m doing something like taking a shower or brushing my teeth and my brain plays tricks...I think I hear my wife calling me for something...I think I feel her walk past the bathroom door doing her thing with a towel on her head. They were the little things that really made up our life together...they were the tiny insignificant aspects of married life that I miss more than ever. They were the manifestations of a living, breathing relationship that is now gone.

You already know that there is nothing you can do...I don''t need to reiterate that. You already predict that it will get better with time...also no need to reiterate.

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