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The thought of never being with them again

  • juwelkeeper
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06 Jun 12 #335328 by juwelkeeper
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toto1978 wrote:

juwelkeeper wrote:

Been a month now since my x left in the middle of the night.
I am a lot better now than i was at the start although i still have very low moments throughout the day.
The saddest part for me at the moment is knowing that i will never be with or see my x ever again and i am finding that bit really hard to sink in.
I loved her so much still do stupidly and would still take her back ,but know that won''t happen.
God this rollercoaster is hell just when you think everything is getting better you just slip back to into depression again.
Seeing a counsellor soon so hoping that helps.

i can relate to all that, we were together 18years and have been apart 1 year now,i dont feel remotely better and find every day a struggle.As you say, the thought of not being with them seeing them ever again is not a good one.I hope you start to experience a few okish days soon as i think for now thats all we can expect.

What also hurts TOTO is the fact that they are having the time of there lives while we sit here is so much pain. And to thing they used to love us and now they are our worst enemies all in the space of hours .And that is so hard to take, planning your future together one minute too being a piece of shit on the bottom of there shoe the next

  • afonleas
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06 Jun 12 #335394 by afonleas
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Hi juwel,
Keep your chin up it will get better,still very early days yet and you are hurting
so much,:(

As a woman i don''t know how you can do this to another human being it is so cruel,i''m really not being sexist here, but you here of men playing around more than women that''s why it''s so hard to comprehend when they do.

I tried the route of having him back actually a few times but it never worked,i actually feel he could not live with me because of his guilt he still with his ***** but admitted heis not happy but hey not my problem anymore.

I''m not going to lie to you it is so hard and the nights are the hardest,you imagine allsorts but then again you are not imagining what you thinking is really happening but with someone else,so think would you want to go where someone else has gone, i''m really passed that thought now if he wants her fine his choice and he has to live with that for the rest of his life the same as yours has to.

I am here to support you at any time and most important to be a friend as we all need them especially at this time

luv and cwtches....afon.....sandra

  • juwelkeeper
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06 Jun 12 #335398 by juwelkeeper
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Thanks AF actually i find the worst time is when i wake up in the early morning i hate it.
I normally wake up about 2 hours before i have to go to work and i cant get back to sleep because all i can think about is her and where it all went wrong and i end up shouting and screaming to myself in frustation at it all.

  • toto1978
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07 Jun 12 #335512 by toto1978
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Too many people walking away without even seriously trying,the grass maybe not as green as they are thinking its going to be, and a minefield of crap may await them,lets hope.:laugh:

A lot of people just walk away it would seem so easily.Maybe one time this will come back and take a chunk out of them.

  • leftwondering
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07 Jun 12 #335531 by leftwondering
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We have all been there.
You are thinking about the good times you had together and tearing yourself apart.
You''ll probably feel like that for quite a while until slowly the rose tinted glasses start to slip off and you will begin to see her the way she is now, a deceitful, lying, cheater who has slept with another man despite being married to you and now couldn''t give a hoot as to how you are feeling and how much pain you are going through, despite the many years you were together.

You think you want her back, but when you really think about what she''s capable of doing to you, do you really think you could love and trust anyone like that again?

Would you be happy living like that?

Every time her phone goes off with a text, or anytime she''s late home from work, or just going out to see a "friend"?

A good relationship cannot work on that basis.

She has crossed the line.

It will never be the same.

Your head tells you that this makes sense, but it will take a while for your heart to catch up.

Lots of these cheaters leave for no reason other than secret thoughts that have been simmering away in their head for some time and had really nothing to do with you, so no good trying to go back in time and try to work out what went wrong.
Some folk just get bored and fancy the thrill and excitement of a new relationship.
Be prepared for her to put all the blame on you though, so she can feel less guilty about herself.
It will make you wonder why she never said anything at the time though, as you would expect a "best friend" or "soul mate" to do.
No, she made her own decision in her own head and kept you in the dark.
Some "best friend" eh?

People change over time and some folk change for the worst.

There are many truths on this site which made sense to me but I couldn''t accept at that point in time as my heart wouldn''t let me.

But I assure you this will change over time as you see how callously she treats you over the coming months.

That''s been my experience anyway JK.


  • juwelkeeper
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07 Jun 12 #335534 by juwelkeeper
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Its funny LW but we used to talk about friends we know where there has been affairs. And we agreed that there shoud always be trust between partners and it was pointless always quizzing your partner if you stay a little late down the pub one night etc etc.

And we had a very relaxed marriage where we both enjoyed going out with our own mates now and again. And we said that if your going to have an affair you are going to have one regardless.

Little did i know that is exactly what she did the bloody boot.Now i know how Julius Caesar must have felt.

  • Marshy_
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07 Jun 12 #335536 by Marshy_
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Hi Juwelkeeper.

Thing is, we cant read others minds. And we listen to the words. Promises of endless love and I will never betray you and so on. But these words are just that. Just sounds made and they may not mean them.

Look at the actions. Actions are where its all at. If she said something like I wont have an affair or is not having an affair but she is out with "friends" all the time. Comes back very late of puts a pin on the phone and never leaves it lying about, then the actions that she is undertaking means that she is indeed having an affair. Despite what she says.

People that have affairs lie. If you cant trust what they are saying, because they have been caught out lying, what is lies and what is truth? Hard to tell sometimes. But actions will always guide you to the true intentions of that person. C.

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