A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

wake up call

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
08 Jun 12 #335640 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Hi YR.

yellowrose wrote:

I knew he was a twit but didn''t realise how much of one. I cannot believe that he would put her first. I cannot believe that he would put anyone or anything above my children.

Well now you know. Its been confirmed by his actions.

I have hated him for a very long time now. Today that has reached new levels. I now realise I am on my own completely. I will never tell him anything about them again. But I feel so sad for them that I chose a father who actually only cares about himself.

Feel very very sad.

I wouldnt hate him YR. I would feel sorry for him. For me, this is what I think when someone makes a huge mistake. And hating anyone or anything is not good for us long term.

You have always been on yr own. But perhaps its taken this to make you realise it. And if you think about it, this is what this is for. To make you realise that its just you and the kids now.

But dont feel sad for them. Its no ones fault. You put yr faith in someone that was and is not worthy of that faith. But its not like betting on a 100-1 long shot at Aintree. You did yr best. And thats all you can ever do. You cant see the future. U wasnt to know.

But all you can do is carry on being the good mum that you are. Cos really, thats all they need. I know it will be tough and you are shouldering a lot or responsibility, but whats new here?

When I think back. I only had my mum as my dad was never there. Always working. Supporting us. That was his job. And my mum was my mum cos that was her job. I never looked to my father for anything and my mum made all the decisions. Cos that was her job. And again, if you think about it, you can make decisions. Cos you are a Mum. And Mums are spesh cos of that. And again. Nothing new here right?

So it dont matter really that yr ex is all loved up on the sofa watching Corry with his tart. He may as well be sitting on the Moon doing the same for all the good he does.

Big Marshy (((HUG))) for you cos you have earned it doing such a Stella J O B. And a red star with a green tick cos you are a good Mum doing what needs to be done for yr kids. C.

  • lozzsa21
  • lozzsa21's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
08 Jun 12 #335643 by lozzsa21
Reply from lozzsa21
Marshy what a lovely post, you always say such great things :-)

Haway, I guess Yellowrose thought it was important enough to make contact. It''s a shame some people can''t put the children first and be grown up enough to have a conversation. Even after everything my d/ck of an ex put me through I''m still good enough to tell him about school events etc (fathers day assembly this Friday) because it''s important to the kids. My love for my kids outweighs totally what I feel towards him.

My mum handled everything on her own after my useless Dad chose his girlfriends over us. He knows where he stands in my life now, as does my mum. Yellowrose, your kids will know in the long run and you will be able to hold your head high knowing you did your best.

  • yellowrose
  • yellowrose's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
08 Jun 12 #335729 by yellowrose
Reply from yellowrose
Thanks Everyone for your kind words - as always.

Haway - You''re right it does make me look like a looney and I wish I hadn''t given them that ammunition. I fully expect a harrasment order but I can''t change it now.

Marshy - as lozza says, you always come up with such wise words. You know what, I have always been on my own. Even when he was here he never listened to them and they never asked him anything. A ''famous'' incident was when they rang me at work one day to ask where something was (they were quite young at the time). I asked them where their dad was and he was sitting on the settee with them. They chose to ring me at work rather than ask him!!

I have decided I won''t phone again. I do feel sad for my children, but yes, they will know that I did everything I could for them.

Thankyou again

YR xx

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.