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ex wife''s treatment of new partner

  • hattiedaw
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22 Jun 12 #338474 by hattiedaw
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Hawaythelads will you marry me?
Jellybean - an affair is an affair whether it''s texting the OW, meeting for coffee or sleeping with her.
My 1st husband had an affair 20 years ago and I still feel nauseous if I see him.
My friend was left for OW (same old sh*t though, apparently they never slept together til after he left). 4.5 years on she still will not accept OW and her ex makes her want to vomit.
It''s simple...the OW knew he was in a long term relationship with kids but still persued him relentlessly and never let Dad have any alone time with the kids.
My friend has moved on in leaps and bounds and is happier than ever with her bf of 3 years but states she will never ever be friendly with ex and OW.
As you were the leaver you knew you were leaving. You planned ahead. You were leaving for a happier life. As the "left" your ex had a lot to cope with.
Live your life for you and your kids. Enjoy the OW but dont let her presence affect your relationship with the kids, dont make the mistake of putting her before them. They were there a long time before her and will probably be there a long time after her (sorry about that but a relationship started on the basis of adultery must make both parties susceptible to doing it again?). Be careful not to mention OW to ex (this is sure to create gritted teeth and narrowed eyes).
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  • SilverFir
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22 Jun 12 #338475 by SilverFir
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jellybean78 wrote:

Does it ever stop?

I don''t know if it ever stops, you just have focus on what you have now and try not to let it bother you.

Five years? I''m a lightweight, it''s only been three years for me! I have an awkward STBX who won''t consent to divorce, who stalks me round various internet sites, whose mother even stalks me round some sites waiting to pounce on anything I might write.

But I try not to let it bother me. So what if he doesn''t have a life? I do.
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  • scaryspice
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22 Jun 12 #338477 by scaryspice
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Get in the queue Hattiedaw ,i want to marry Hawaythelads too !!!
I agree with you ,enjoy your life but don''t rub ex''s nose in it .
She may also be feeling replaced as a mother to your kids , even though this seems crazy ,she is a threat , in her mind anyway .
Well done for admitting you have done wrong - not many will do that .
Hope it all settles down soon .
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  • robinson25
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22 Jun 12 #338481 by robinson25
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my x husband left me for ow. The ow rang me several times, she was divorced after her husband had numerous affairs, she actually told me she was attracted to my x but was not the sort of women to break up a family so she was going to walk away!(lies all lies) as she continued to txt meet him etc.

At first i hated her and blamed her more than my x, but then realised he was as much to blame. BUT i will never understand how one woman can do that to another woman knowing the destruction and devastation she caused. I will never forgive her so i can understand why your wife feels how she does.

I dont think the leaver understands the emotional turmoil that the one left behind goes through.
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  • itsfinallyover
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22 Jun 12 #338482 by itsfinallyover
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jellybean78 wrote:

Isn''t it a shame that no one looks at what a great person my new partner is, (esp how she handles her own child contact with her own ex who did the dirty on her), and everyone thinks my ex wife is faultless...obviously I''m not going to start listing all her faults to justify why I chose to be with someone else, its unnecessary and has nothing to do with my original concern.

@hawaythelads- there was no f******** going on behind my wife''s back.
She knew I was leaving.


If your new partner is such a ''great person'' (in your opinion), and you allege she has had the dirty done on her in the past, then her moral standing must be in the gutter to do the same to another woman what she had done to her.

I''m with Hawaythelads and most of the other posters, people like yourself ALWAYS blame the victim, it makes it easier for you to justify the reason why you dumped your wife and family for another woman.
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  • fairylandtime
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22 Jun 12 #338484 by fairylandtime
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Hathaway

Looks like we''re queuing up for you lol - what''s it like to be such a popular guy? :laugh:

JJx
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  • Lostboy67
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22 Jun 12 #338485 by Lostboy67
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fairylandtime wrote:

Hathaway

Looks like we''re queuing up for you lol - what''s it like to be such a popular guy? :laugh:

JJx


Don''t listen to them Pete unless you have more houses to give away...:dry:

LB
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