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ex wife''s treatment of new partner

  • jellybean78
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23 Jun 12 #338507 by jellybean78
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@fizzyfish, why do you think my partner is so awful for wanting to embark on a relationship with me, just because i had a young child?
Do you think she should have stayed away because i had (what others would horribly term) "baggage"?!?

My ex''s behaviour is not my partners fault- technically, neither should factor in each others lives- in a perfect world, anyway.

What my ex doesnt realise, is that i didn''t walk out on my child. I still want a relationship with my child, which is why I never miss contact times.

My ex puts her own feelings before my childs feelings.

And yes I might be dim to write on here, but even though i have been slated, I am looking at all of it in a constructive manner so that I can try to see things from the ex''s point of view- am I such a bad person for trying to do that?

And yes, there are many people on this forum who have been left by their partners, BUT there are also many people who are not on here, who don''t care to bother trying to get a different view point on the situation from both sides.

Many people have left their partners (for whatever reasons) who are maybe smarter and write on different forums, but I chose to write on this one, and it was not meant to offend others.
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  • scaryspice
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23 Jun 12 #338508 by scaryspice
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Forgot to mention ,my kids ahven''t met OW yet .6 months in and she is 20 years younger than Him .
They have been asked if they want to meet her and said no and have also told me if he lives with her and they have to go there they will refuse .
He currently rents a flat so kids can visit at weekends and lives in her house rest of the time .
So although I haven''t stopped contact ,anything could happen when OW comes into equation.
She is the ***** in their eyes who stole their daddy away .
What can I say ?
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  • jellybean78
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23 Jun 12 #338509 by jellybean78
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@scaryspice- no one can be "stolen" away, everyone has free will!
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  • FizzyFish
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23 Jun 12 #338510 by FizzyFish
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If you are looking for an explanation of your ex''s behaviour it is

1 - because you left her for another woman, whether or not the marriage was over (in your mind or hers), you may have stayed in the family home if it hadn''t been for this other woman coming in to your life.
2 - because your ex feels humiliated by your behaviour. You both live in a small village (as you said earlier).
3 - because your ex has been horribly hurt by your abandonment of her and wants to hurt you by hurting the thing that is most important to you - your new lady.

How to stop your ex behaving this way.

1 - try to understand why she is doing this (thus posting here)
2 - be nice to her. It''s easier to hate someone who hates you or pointedly ignores you. It''s difficult to hate someone who is nice to you.
3 - understand she needs more time. It will happen eventually, just not on YOUR timescale.

And I didn''t say your new lady was "so awful". But I don''t think she''s much of a prize to get involved with someone who is still living (albeit apart) from his wife with a kid still in nappies. My opinion, you don''t have to like it.
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  • scaryspice
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23 Jun 12 #338511 by scaryspice
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That is their view - not mine
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  • jellybean78
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23 Jun 12 #338513 by jellybean78
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Thanks fizzyfish, i appreciate the advice.

Do you suggest that all new potential partners should stay away from dads just because the dads have small children?
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  • FizzyFish
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23 Jun 12 #338514 by FizzyFish
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If they are still married? F*ck Yeah!
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