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ex wife''s treatment of new partner

  • Canuck425
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23 Jun 12 #338530 by Canuck425
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the ex doesn''t allow it as she doesn''t want to be away from her child

This is not good enough. Fight for your child. She''s worth it.
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  • sillywoman
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23 Jun 12 #338531 by sillywoman
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You say this all happened 5 years ago, you say she has met someone else as well, so all should be happy surely by now?????

Forget the name calling, just concentrate on trying to get some kind of healthy and supportive relationship going with your child, as she is the most important person in all this now.

Good luck!
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  • WYSPECIAL
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23 Jun 12 #338534 by WYSPECIAL
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sillywoman wrote:

You say this all happened 5 years ago, you say she has met someone else as well, so all should be happy surely by now?????


Don''t bank on it. It''s 15 years since first wife divorced me. It was her decision and no one else involved (well there might have been, I was suspicious but didn''t delve). I carried on with life and picked myself up. To this day she is as bitter and twisted as the day she left and would do anything to spoil my relationship with my now adult children. Some people are just like that.
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  • FizzyFish
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23 Jun 12 #338536 by FizzyFish
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5 years. 3 years. In my case 27 years together. It''s a number, just a number. All just numbers. There isn''t a cut off line, it''s a personal journey.

(and talking of numbers, I read jellybeans post last night where the daughter was 6, and today I see she is 8. numbers sometimes don''t add up, eh? I''m going to be the b*tch that suggests there was a bit of editing going on).

Can I join that line for Hawaythelads? x
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  • MrsMathsisfun
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23 Jun 12 #338543 by MrsMathsisfun
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JB

The rights and wrongs of how and why your marriage failed is in the past and you need to look to the future and how to try and encourage your ex to heal.

As I said before DONT react to the comments however upsetting. Its the reaction she wants, she wants to see pain.

You do need to sort contact out with the child. Your child needs her dad and needs a good quality relationship.

Does the ex block all contact or is it just the overnight stays?
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  • scaryspice
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23 Jun 12 #338550 by scaryspice
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Sorry Mathisfun but he cannot encourage his ex to heal .
That is something she has to do by herself or with help from others ,not him.
There was a post a while ago on the same topic and it seems the leaver just has no idea at all about the pain caused by them.
Yes it''s in the past but it still happened and it can take a long time ,even for ever to forget.
In an ideal world we''d all forgive and forget and move on .
But we are human and it''s just not that easy .
he said his vows - for better or for worse .
Not for better unless I get bored and can''t be bothered to try and make it work.
The childs contact with her dad should not be compromised ,but he should have thought of that when he was messing with OW instead of trying to save the marriage .
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  • MrsMathsisfun
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23 Jun 12 #338558 by MrsMathsisfun
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I realise only she can heal but he can try and not make the situation worse.

By understanding the reasons why she is hurting and trying not continue to hurt her through any behaviour on his part. he will be giving her a chance to heal.
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