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Sad.......again

  • Furball
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04 Jul 12 #341159 by Furball
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I am doing OK as long as it is day to day things, but then something comes along and hits me again.
I have tried all the "treat yourself" stuff and I am just getting fat because I can only afford to treat myself to crap food.

I thought it would be the best option, mainly because I hate the idea of losing my daughter, if I let him come over and do bedtime a couple of times a week. That way he gets to see her and I get to keep her. It also helps him because I live close to school and he would find it really hard to do the school run.

BUT, whenever he comes over he is either pleased with himself, or wearing something new, or like tonight talking about having her on Sunday so that he can go and meet a friend and his kids. But he was my friend too, and I haven''t seen him in ages and probably never will again, and he just assumes that it is OK with me to take her for the day. It really should have been his weekend but he "took a rain check" because he''s going to Silverstone on Saturday.

I try to be nice, I try to keep things civil but I feel walked on.

Sorry, just moaning again. I have to moan to you guys, you are all i have. The weather doesn''t help.

  • livinginhope
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04 Jul 12 #341165 by livinginhope
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I so agree that the weather doesn''t help! I have been doing ok since my Absolute but this week have started to feel depressed again and realise that the grey skies and constant rain are adding to the Depression.
I''m fortunate in that I don''t have to see much of ex so am not constantly having to hear about his new social life.He told me he will be having 3 weekends away in July but when I think of what he will be doing I''m not particularly bothered because it''s not something I''d enjoy and I don''t want to be with him anyway.
I''m not sure this is much help to you,sorry,but I wanted you to know you aren''t alone.XXX

  • Margot123
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04 Jul 12 #341169 by Margot123
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I totally agree with the effect the weather has on the mood, so many people seem to be feeling down – and not necessarily because of personal life issues. When I separated at the start of this year, I promised myself to do things I had never done before and, although I had always been against them, I have now experienced 2 sunbeds in 3 months!!...and each time I had the impression that I felt more positive afterwards...I have been feeling down for the past few weeks too...maybe a sunbed is in order :)

Furball, “forcing” yourself to actually physically smile might help too...it works for me some of the time...

C xx

  • leftwondering
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04 Jul 12 #341171 by leftwondering
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I have tried all the "treat yourself" stuff and I am just getting fat because I can only afford to treat myself to crap food.


Furball...I''m being serious here.
You''ve GOT to quit that crap.
It''s destroying your sense of self worth just as much as drinking a bottle of whisky a day "because I''m sad and divorced and need it".

NO.

A lot of getting through this crap is to focus on certain things, to keep our minds off the nagging thoughts.

Furball, I want you to get up in the morning, stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself "f^ck it...I''m gonna get in shape starting NOW!"

Make it a personal goal and a hobby that you concentrate on rather than the sh1tbag who messed up your life.
Throw the crap comfort sweets and cakes out. Don''t buy any more.

Look up local council hall meetings of folk who feel the same way and want to get training under a proper fitness instructor.
There will be some in your area if you look.

This "Private Gym" stuff is really just "style crap" and for those who want the image of spending money on that and playing on lifting machines and running machines.

You don''t need a machine to lift stuff and you don''t need a machine to enable you to run.

I mean it Furball. Look up your local Adult Education/Interests stuff in your area.

You will also meet some new friends there who will like you and you them.

Do it!

LW

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04 Jul 12 #341175 by Furball
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LW I know you are a good man and are trying to buck me up, but I am still wallowing in self pity I''m afraid. I look in the mirror and I see all the reasons why he traded me in for a different model, well several different models.
I have no babysitters, no local friends or contacts, and I believe one of his tarts works at the local council run leisure centre. So I can always come up with reasons why I can''t get out and exercise.
Having said that I do have a Wii fit so if I could move my lardy arse I could quite easily and enjoyably work out at home.

Now where did I leave that chocolate
;)

  • MrsMathsisfun
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04 Jul 12 #341179 by MrsMathsisfun
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Furball.

The reason your ex played away is nothing to do with you, its about his failures.

Resisting the chocolate and getting the wii fit out is all to do with you.

Lets both make a commitment to give up the chocolate and lose those inches!!

I recommend the zumba or just dance and get the children to join in great fun. If you havent got the games. look on youtube and get dancing!

  • leftwondering
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04 Jul 12 #341182 by leftwondering
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Furball,
Self pity is OK.
I wallow in it as well.
I cry for the past too from time to time and "how it should have been." for us.

That''s only natural.

But you have got to distance those thoughts from actually causing you harm.

Suicide, Alcoholism,Habitual Comfort Eating, Letting yourself slide into someone you don''t respect yourself...

No you are worth way more than that.

Remember HE put you where you are now, not YOU.

So is the rest of your life going to be determined by what HIS opinions are of the world and what HE thinks and HE feels and HIS life?

Gimme a break!

LW

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