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  • Now Gone From Wiki
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12 Jul 12 #342835 by Now Gone From Wiki
Topic started by Now Gone From Wiki
Well, I have discovered that my ''absentee wife'' who ran away two weeks ago with my 11 year old son has engaged a solicitor (our local one who told me I couldn''t get advice as she''d got there first).

Still no idea where she is and am putting in forms C4 (disclose location of child), C100 (contact order) and C1A (emotional abuse of a child) tomorrow. Sad times, very sad times.

Just looking for some TLC at present. Must try and work out what to do when the Petition hits the mat. She struggles with stress and communication and is unlikely to be interested in mediation or counselling.......

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12 Jul 12 #342837 by sun flower
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This is the place to get the most enormous amount of generour support....I am constantly amazed by the generosity of wiki peeps....let me just start you off...I''m not well informed on the practical things but I like to think I can offer (and recieve) a bit of emotional back up....so for now - we understand this is double turmoil for you than you would have thought possible....think of your connections with your stbx wife (yes it is hard to ever start thinking of her in that way) and your son as invisible bonds that are as strong as high tensile steel....and to some extent those bonds have to be stretched apart.....it may leave you realing in more pain that you would have thought possible....and yet I have yet to meet someone who has had this decision thrust upon them (rather than making the choice) who has broken or stretched the bonds without the pain. We are here supporting you, and one day perhaps you will do this for others. For now, be very kind to yourself, and forgive yourself, and don''t beat yourself up. Other wikis will be along soon, but for now see this is your first spoonful (Mary Poppins Magic style) of TLC medicine. It wil feel better, one day, but perhaps for now just keep taking Scary''s MP wiki medicine and survive.

On a more serious medical note, you may wish to see your doctor re counselling and anti depressants. These are not a quick fixes but many of us have been surprised how low and unexpectadly this has struck us.....maybe not now...but don''t write if off as ''nancy stuff''. It make help you for a wee while....when you need it, if and when you are ready.

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12 Jul 12 #342839 by Crumpled
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Hi Mark I am so sorry it sounds like you re going through what is an Absolute nightmare i hope that things improve for you and at least you find out where your child is and that they are ok...........

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12 Jul 12 #342840 by Lostboy67
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Hi
There is nothing you can do about the post and really you don''t need to worry about it, if/when it happens it happens, try not to waste energy on it.

With regard to the court papers you are going to put in, are you sure C1A (emotional abuse of a child) is a good idea at this stage, the other two yes, but this might be taken as a little agressive by you s2bx, you can always put it in later if required.

LB

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12 Jul 12 #342841 by hur
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alas I cant do TLC at present cos I am in adrenalin/tough-it-out/waiting for nisi/still both living under same roof
MODE

but I will say; keep a diary/make a timeline, even the smallest things can add up in surprising ways. Also when you read it back you can see how far you have come.

(damn, at least I get to be with my children daily)

keep strong

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12 Jul 12 #342843 by Now Gone From Wiki
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Thanks everyone.

I''ve been to the doctors. Didn''t fancy the antidepressants but have been referred to counselling. I went to a ''Families Need Fathers'' session last night that was excellent.

I agree on the C1A form and will discuss with the duty judge tomorrow. It was the advice of the FNF people to do it. I don''t want to create more problems but by removing my son from dad (me), home, school, friends, other family and dog she is putting him in a very stressful situation.

Fingers crossed that the postman passes me by tomorrow......

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12 Jul 12 #342846 by Lostboy67
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Hi Mark,
I''ve suffered from depression and did go down the AD route, you are still in the early days so they may not be appropriate until things progress, depression comes on over weeks and months, two weeks in you are probably in the initial shock, and councilling may help you avoid depresion all together. But if you are still feeling bad in a month or so it might be worth reviewing the position.

LB

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