Whoopee should be my first thought, and I know many of you will be glowering at this post with envy...but this is my first summer since he left and the six weeks off work is quite daunting.
My work colleagues and routine have been my rock. Since he left I did not take time off but gained emense support at work. The children (4 -7 yr olds) distracted me and gave me laughter and joy. The routine was a godsend.
Now I''m a bit wobbly.
My friends are either still working in the day or off on holidays with their families.
He, the one who shall not be named:P will be holidaying somewhere lush with his millionaire girlfriend.
I can''t afford to take the kids anywhere. But that is not what I''m anxious about.
I do have a lot of jobs to tick off on my list, but it is the adult company I will miss and the distractions.
I do feel lonely even when I have a house full of tweenagers sleeping over and raiding my sparce fridge!
Is it just me or does anyone else find holidays a bit daunting?
( On a positive note as I write this the sun is streaming through the window and I can see my first job....mow the lawn!)
I can totally understand where you''re coming from. Routine in those early months is important. Having a reason to get up and a place to go with tasks to complete can be a major (and essential) distraction when all else seems to be falling down around us.
I finished for the summer last Friday and, interestingly, I had a similar conversation with some of our students who were in panic about having 6 weeks at home. We enjoy time at home when we can relax and rest. During periods of high stress (such as divorce), it can loom as a nightmare.
So, in your shoes, I would take the bull by the horns and have a think about what activities you can put in place. You don''t have to completely fill your time but having some physical activities to do will go a long way to ensuring that you fall into bed at night, ready for a good sleep. Try to avoid spending time sitting around, leaving yourself long periods of time in which to dwell.
You need a break. Take whatever you can get
When you''ve moved on far enough, then you will be able to view the summer break with some glee... like I do now
I understand exactly what you are saying. I try not to look too far ahead - and things seem to fall into place - or I make plans.
But the peace which should be restful and companionable is now just a vacume of loneliness and grief (I know, a vacume with something in it is an oxymoron - but you know what I mean.) Hope your sunshine lasts - please send some here!