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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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Sunny weather: I hate it!!

  • QPRanger
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23 Jul 12 #344783 by QPRanger
Topic started by QPRanger
Well at last summer has arrived. :(

Being based on the coast near some of England''s nicest beaches SHOULD be a good thing but as my break up and all the legal mess that follows it when one of the parties refuses to co-operate with ANYTHING drags on to nearly a year now I''m feeling so low at the moment...

I guess as with most people my best memories of our relationship relate to days out, holidays and sunny days. And now I am so alone and can''t ''move on'' whilst the divorce and finances drag on I wish for clouds and rain.

Stupid isn''t it?

  • afonleas
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23 Jul 12 #344788 by afonleas
Reply from afonleas
How lucky you are to live near the coast:) ,
although you are feeling so low that your unable to enjoy it:(
Like yourself i also focused on the good times,days out and holidays of which we enjoyed a few every year,but those days are now gone.
When you think of the good times you always have to remember the bad times,even though that is hard:S but they are there and if not we would not be where we are now.So were our lives so idyliic then ???? i know the answer in my case, do you know yours??.
It is easy to stay indoors and mope about,
we all have to get out there,and attempt some resembelance of a life,otherwise we are failing ourselves,Okay I don''t think i failed at my marriage!!he did!!and I have 2 amazin daughters from my marriage who are my life,but i''m sure of one thing i''m not going to fail at my life,otherwise he has taken the core of me.
Try to get out and about Iknow it hurts when you see others so happy:S but that was us one day and now look at us!! many smiles are painted on :(

Chin up;) things can only get better.
Luv and cwtchs
Afon xx.............................

  • sun flower
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23 Jul 12 #344789 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
No QPR - definitely not stupid - it is how it feels - Hang on in. (and for the record it is pouring North of the border!)

Try to walk - get exercise - you know the drill......

But it hurts like hell - you are not stupid, you are wounded - different thing. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to heal, and don''t be your harshest critic.

I think none of us thought this much pain and grief were possible.

  • QPRanger
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23 Jul 12 #344792 by QPRanger
Reply from QPRanger
Thanks for the replies: much appreciated!

I''m killing myself ''legally'' at the moment: the anti-depressants have got me through the darkest suicidal early months but I have promised my Mum that I won''t do anything stupid...but now that the ADs seem to have stopped me from crying and breaking down (which tbh I MISS!) I am drinking and smoking myself to death....

Joined a gym and stuck at it for a few months but....I had no motivation to look after myself or think to the future. Being in limbo is so soul-destroying isn''t it? No-one else but yourself can give you hope I think: its got to come from within.

I just need a break in my circumstances, just one sign that this will end soon. I put ALL my trust in solicitors, courts, judges, police etc and nothing has gone right so far: I wish I''d come on here sooner!

Good luck to you all: it definitely helps to know that one is not on their own with these kind of heartbreaking issues....

  • leftwondering
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23 Jul 12 #344800 by leftwondering
Reply from leftwondering

I know what you mean by sunny days and sorrow.
It''s funny, but I heard Buddy Holly doing this song ages ago and later Leo Sayer, but the lyrics never really meant anything at the time.

"The sun is out, the sky is blue
There''s not a cloud to spoil the view
But it''s raining
Raining in my heart

The weatherman says fine today
He doesn''t know that you''ve gone away
And it''s raining
Raining in my heart"

I must admit, a lot of songs I just thought of as nice tunes before, hit the target now!


  • QPRanger
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23 Jul 12 #344806 by QPRanger
Reply from QPRanger

I love Buddy and that song is spot on isn''t it!

The Carpenters sang that ''Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down'' but not for me!

  • Fiona
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23 Jul 12 #344823 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
What sunny weather?

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