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petrified and feeling sick

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31 Jul 12 #346336 by Crumpled
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well the day i dreaded has arrived having had the weekend from hell where even my children were visibly shocked at my stbx behaviour I gave my solicitor the go ahead to start the process and the letter should be with him today........a letter with a confession statement for him to sign.
i am sitting in bed either crying or feeling sick to make matters worse last night i went with him for an mri and it turns out he has a heart problem....nothing that needs immediate attention but will need to be monitored over the years so now although he has been a complete b*****d to me i now feel like a heartless b***h
he has told so many lies and been so awful to me that although i do feel miserable and sick i feel almost excited as well with the prospect of not having to have this horrible life anymore.I just feel so sad that a thirty year relationship is ending this way ......i am truly heartbroken.

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31 Jul 12 #346348 by perin123
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(((((Living))))))

Why is it that after all they do WE still end up feeling like we are the ones in the wrong??

You can''t just switch off your emotions and feelings like a tap, doesn''t work like that. When someone has been a part of your life for so long, it takes time to adjust.

So for now, I am sending my support. xxx

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31 Jul 12 #346352 by sun flower
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After 30 years it is impossible to switch off...but also remember this man is a pass master at manipulating you. This is a path that he alone has chosen by his actions. If he had not cheated etc he would not find himself in a position with a heart condition on his own (or at least without his long term and faithful partners support.)

Why did you go to the MRI with him in the first place....he has lost the right to that support.

I suspect the feeling sick and petrified and crying in bed is part of that awful painful refiling business the brain has to do.

None of his is advice....it is just my way of sending support though. Take care.

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31 Jul 12 #346398 by afonleas
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Massive cwtchs Living xx
Have to agree with all that''s been said,yes 30 years is a long time,but I no longer love or hate him,just feel indifferance towards him,but I still was married to this man for 30 years and not all bad,so if presented the same situation as you how would I feel????
Exactly the same as yourself,although my road to freedom has already started,but unfortunatly yours is just beginning.
Some may I ask why?just because he betrayed me and is now with Rent-a-Bike,this does not mean I would not have compassion for him,although he did not show me the same courtesey,as a decent human being(i hope)I would still be there to support him,maybe this would also coupled with the fact that he is the father of my girl''s and would want to support him for them also.
So totally agree with Scarey,who i think must have known my ex,she described him so well?but I know I could not shun in his hour of need!!!!not yet anyway!!!
However if his relationship failed,and he was lost and alone, then Well Tough,welcome to the hell you put me through,and suffer every minute of it,as I have,but thankfully my helldays are few and far between now.
Take care of yourself Living,you are the most important person in your life!!!!

Luv and cwtchs
Afon xxx...............................

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31 Jul 12 #346525 by humdrum
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keep moving forward, never look back. You know what you are doing and why. Don''t fall back under the spell or let him make you doubt. Good luck!

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31 Jul 12 #346527 by freeeee
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Hi, I am just at the start of divorce, Husband wants it....
Like you I too have been married for 30yrs,& I feel the same way.I think its the fear of the unknown,as well as the thought of having to GO IT ALONE.He has just left the forces,& we relocated to a place that neither of us new,but he had a job here.
He is staying here,BUT I have to move on.Again,to some where that I don''t know, but the area looks lovely(I took a day trip there)The thought of being totally alone, in a strange place, with out him being there to hold my hand.

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31 Jul 12 #346530 by Now Gone From Wiki
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If only we could turn off emotions as easily as we turn off the lights then life would be so much easier. Problem is if we could turn off emotions like that we''d lose our humanity.

I''m sorry to hear the news LITD and hope you get the support you need for the tough journey ahead. I suspect there''ll be good days absurd bad days and over time the good will gradually outweigh the bad.

I wish you all the best xx

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