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Ex critizing me constantly!

  • caring soul
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12 Aug 12 #349076 by caring soul
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Hi

I have my children 90% of the time and my ex has them every other weekend no holidays! Does anyone have a ex that critizes all the time ?

My ex checks up on me throught the children which i feel is unfair,my kids want for nothing and i have been told what a good mum I am.
Most times he comes around he critizes me to the point its stresses me out, he dictating to me and I feel its not his place when i have them most of the time and im coping.

Any advice woiuld be great thank you
Caringsoul

  • loveourmum
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12 Aug 12 #349079 by loveourmum
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It is none of his business what goes on in your home as it is none of your business what goes on in his home where the children are concerned provided they are well loved, well looked after and well cared for.

Your ex clearly thinks that you could not/ cannot survive without him.

Yes you can - you are a mum who has brought your children up to this day and age/stage without as much as a peep from him until he decides otherwise - not to be there!

Do not listen to his rantings.

Listen to the decent, respectable fathers on this site who have the welfare of their children as their paramount importance without slagging the mums off.

They don''t have to slag off the mums parenting skills because they know that their child/ren are well loved and looked after.

However the relationship with their former ex maybe a different story.

You don''t have to tell your children what a good mum you are - they already know that. ;)

Best wishes

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12 Aug 12 #349080 by sillywoman
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Say "yeah, yeah, yeah, watever"

  • fairylandtime
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13 Aug 12 #349091 by fairylandtime
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CS

Water off a ducks back .... Take no notice of your ex, try & limit contact with him as much as possible & continue doing as you are doing ... Being a great mum.

What gets to him is that 1) you are stronger than he (& perhapse you) thought
2) you can cope
3) you are better off without him than with him & perhaps that hurts hence the criticism.

Like I say water off a ducks back the only way to stop the criticism is to show him how it doesn''t affect you .. So he is just wasting his breath.

JJx

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13 Aug 12 #349103 by Canuck425
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Ignore the criticism unless you think there is a spirit of joint parenting involved.

Maybe, just maybe, he feels a little less like a parent and more like a visitor to his kids? Having them two out of every fourteen nights is not much. Perhaps it would be in your interest as well as the kids to get him more time with them? Maybe if he was more of a joint parent things would work out better?

Hard for me to say but thought I would suggest a different line of thinking. 2/14 nights wouldn''t work for me...

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13 Aug 12 #349109 by sim5355
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hi! caringsoul
you are dealing with a narcassist which means a child in a adults body,you are damed if you do and damed if you don''t.He thinks he is a better parent even though he probably spends little time with them because generally he thinks he is superior.Tell him to mind his own business and ignore any comment because it ''s not about your parenting it''s about him getting off on putting you down.

  • caring soul
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15 Aug 12 #349717 by caring soul
Reply from caring soul
Thank you for everyones reply. Apparently he is not criticising me he is merely telling how to look after more effectively!!

I have made the decision not to be in contact or speak to him but he is not happy he still needs input!

Very stressed at the moment feel like he is trying to control me, but i stand by my decision and will not let him talk down to me anymore, I know how to look after my kids.

Caringsoul

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