I think men especially are prone to try to hide the pain or just deal with it. Therapy helped me quite a bit by talking through issues and to get me to see how to best care for myself.
I would also encourage you to talk, talk, talk with real people face to face as much as possible. I have found it so helpful to get out, meet new people and talk to them. There are aspects of this journey that are really interesting to people. What have you learned about yourself? Where do you want to get to in the next few years? Do you have a vision on how to get there?
I hope you''re able to kick the drink. It''s no good for you and is not likely to help your healing.