Hi again FFC.
ffc1991 wrote:It doesen''t help with feeling that I''m taking a Daddy''s place.
What is a dad? A doner of sperm? No. A dad is there for his kid. Respectful, understanding and supportive and loads and loads more good things. Donating the sperm is the easy bit. Being a real dad is a lot harder. And they will break yr arm at the start and break yr heart at the end. And you have to take it all.
My partners EX isnt the best Dad to say the least but he''s not the worst either.
Then you can fit the frame then? Its gona be tough. But if you wana step up to the plate and take the job. Its gona be yours. But you have to be ready and commited and its a massive responsibilty and there is gona be some big knocks. But you have to be worthy. And you have to be commited. If you are not, back away. Dont go there.
Iv''e made it abundantly clear that I don''t want that role in a sense. I''d rather be say the fun uncle something like that, is tht realistic to think?
Then perhaps you are not ready. A dad is an all or nothing assigment. You cant be anything else but a dad. Cos this is a family unit. Mum, dad and offspring. I have never seen this with, Mum, Uncle, child. Not right is it? Listen to yrself.
Possibly I do wonder sometimes wether I rushed into a new relationship so soon and if it was the right thing to do with everything going on.
Its too soon. Six months is nothing compared to 5 years. Honestly, you are on the rebound. But what does this mean really? You are young. You have it all in front of you and you have a chance to make good. And you could do it if you wanted to. You just have to decide if its what you want or not. If its not what you want, then do the decent thing and get out while you can. But, dont go around collecting hearts in a jar.
It doesen''t help really that I talk to literally nobody about it.
You need to take a leaf. Out of a womens book of life. Women are successful (usually) cos they can talk. Talking is good and if you are ever going to get over this, the chin needs to wag. And get this out of your system.
I think this is wher emy main problem lies. My EX partner tbh didn''t really do much wrong in the relationship.
If she was so perfect, why are you apart. Mate.. The perfect person has not been invented. She did wrong. Honest. We all do wrong. This is proby wrong me telling you this. But we all have to live a life. And we will make mistakes. You make them, the ex makes them and I make them. Every day. We are not machines.
I just went about things all the wrong way at the end when I wasn''t happy.
I hear you. But if something isnt right, you will never make it so. This is something you learn. And also, you cant make something right if it wasnt to be. And thats that. But think of it this way. And you said this before, you was holding her back. And you knew this and I suspect that this is why you got out. There is nothing wrong with getting out if its not working. It takes courage and confidence to walk away and you did exactly that. You had the balls to leave. And it worked out for you both. Well it will if you let it.
Ok, what I suggest you do is take a step back. Perhaps get some counselling and work out what you want. Then when you know, act apon it. But dont go round and round in circles. Cos you will find that they just keep getting smaller. At some time, you will want to hammer the steak in the ground and anchor your life to it. That could be now. Or in a years time. But dont bumble thru life leaving a debris field behind you. Sorry again... C.