My Mother in Laws funeral is tomorrow.
Due to my impending Divorce I did not feel it would be appropiate/comfortable for me to attend.
Naturally,Hubby & our young adult chilren will be attending.
The sudden & unexpected death was due to a Car accident.
She had only days before come out of ITU & other various speciality hospitals after having suffered an extremely severe repeat attack of Shingles.
THE CAR ACCIDENT:-
One of my Sister-In -Laws had picked her up from M I Laws house to take her for Lunch. On the way she needed
to drop some thing off at her friends house. My M I Law being her usual impatient self decided she was not going to sit & wait in the car.
She got out.Now wether sheaccidently knocked the Handbrake off OR Sis I Law had not put it on properly.... well we will never know..M I Law died in ITC from her injuries sustained.
My poor S I Law is beside herself with guilt. BUT she is58yrs old & has driven with great confidence since she passed her Test at 18yrs old.
I wanted so much to be there for her and the others. Again Jackie and I have known each other since we were in our early twenties.We used to leave the Hubbies at home and go away for a W/E Holiday...
THEY WERE AS MUCH MY FAMILY AS MY OWN.
Hubby & Son were to drive ther on Sat. morning to have a grieving time tog.
Sat. morning arrived ( and I have to say I was looking forward to a Respite from him)
He was faffing around getting organized. He came into the kichen & next minute I heard an agonized yell from him.
His back had gone on him & he was slumped over kitchen work top(he has had problems with his back for years)& when it goes he can be in so much pain & has to have total bed rest for between 3-7 days.I ran forward to help him & the look on his face stopped me in my tracks.It was one of sheer......He told me to get out of his face &leave him to sort himself out.
35min. later he was still slumped over.My heart bled for him,coz I knew the pain that he was in, & that there would be no way he could drive.
Today.Sunday, we managed to book a flight to fly up there so he would not miss his Grans funeral.
Our daughter is training as a nurse & living in Surrey.She had booked a flight as soon as she heard about her Gran.
So here I am.....He tells me that he does not want to hurt me...
He knows that I am grieving for his Mum to..
If you feel like you should be at the funeral then go. I went to my mil and sat next to my husband. I usually go into my shell this time of year, but I am now starting to think of things to keep me busy. Just remember this will pass.
Oh, I feel for your sister in law, as it is clear you do - I am so so sorry - tragic. If you don''t manage to go - could you write letters, not so much of condolence but of heart felt sympathy and empathy? Well done to your children for going.
As for hibernation - another subject all together - this will be my third winter post ex.....the first two I followed the perceived wisdom and said yes to every opportunity, and painted on the face and went out. I am exhausted, and I have no more energy to paint on the face and say I am fine - and I have largely chosen to hibernate and heal, and I feel so much better for my honesty with myself, and do you know what?....the world has hardly noticed, and it certainly hasn''t disappeared.