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Can''t breathe with the stress

  • redwine47
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30 Sep 12 #358677 by redwine47
Topic started by redwine47
Thought I was coping.... Writing lists, ticking off...Catching up on things but now it''s all happening again, . Overloaded with stuff to the point my head really does fee like exploding......

Final hearing cancelled due to stbx
Stbx legals looking for more discovery (given 2days deadline Friday past)
CSA looking for info deadline Friday past
In New job trying to train for same
Car packed in Thurs
Washing machine broken
Had major flood in bathroom, toilet broken
Shower doors fallen off...
My 81 year old dad unwell and needing looked after.
One son needing help with uni finance debts
Other son says dads bullied him to sign a statement for CSA
Totally behind all housework...
Just found out stbx has dissipated last of savings...
& tomoro have to make statement to police about abuse....

I so miss my mum & hardly have time to think bout her.

Can''t remember last time I slept well apart from getting a general anaesthetic for op ... Lol

I''m struggling & dangling on a very loose thread & need to be up 530 tomoro :''

I know all in same boat but this week has been zh1ty...Sori

  • Lostboy67
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30 Sep 12 #358681 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
Hi Red,
You really need to take a deep breath and step back from the situation.
You''ve listed a lot of problems, which is a good first step, what you need to do now is to start thing about solutions to them.

A lot depends on how much money you have to throw at the problem (I know finance is never easy)

The flood and washing machine /shower door might be solvable with a plumber /handyman.

Getting behind with housework is not supprising with everything else, I had got way behind with this and have ended up hiring a cleaner to just take some of the pressure off.

Is the car something you can sort out for yourself, if not then you need to get someone to sort it for you, in the meantime think about how you can do without.

The court stuff CSA and the dissipated savings, what can you do about these ? If you can''t do anything then you have little choice but to wait and see, little point in wasting engergy on them.

Your sons and dad are things that are not so easy to fix, the one who has made a statment to the CSA, needs to be encouraged to contact the CSA and make the situation clear that his statment was made under duress.
For the other one, uni finance/debt can be a big problem......don''t know what you can do about this.
Your dad''s care, have you been in touch with social services, they may be able to help with care, I don''t know if meals on wheels operate in your area but they may also be able to help.

The one thing I''ve come to realise is that I can''t do it all myself and sometimes I need to get people in to help.


  • sun flower
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30 Sep 12 #358683 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
I''ve sent you a pm.

  • Serendipity100
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01 Oct 12 #358691 by Serendipity100
Reply from Serendipity100
Hi Red - sorry to hear how upset you feel at mo - never rains but pours, doesn''t it. Lost Boy''s was spot on though - try not to get overwhelmed. Re your other post - sorry its really late and just easier to post it on here - re dissipating assets - have you checked out S37 of MCA? That may give you some ideas. Anyway, hope you feel a bit better tomorrow, ok, good night.

  • redwine47
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01 Oct 12 #358705 by redwine47
Reply from redwine47
Thanks so much for your replies... Was up 530 and fit for nothing & head still buzzin. I have decided to take today off work and try to deal with some of the problems, so pressure off slightly.

LB.... Normally try to be organised so Very annoyed with myself getting stressed over some of the more minor issues like washing machine its just wen so much comes at once you get overwhelmed. I suppose I can''t do all myself!... Time to start asking for help!

Serendipity.. I''ll have a look at s37 but stbx is playing all sorts of games

I''m gonna try get lots sorted: today. Starting now........

Thanks again.

  • Action
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01 Oct 12 #358707 by Action
Reply from Action
Just to say I''m thinking of you. It''s so unfair when we get bombarded with stuff all at once and makes us feel like giving up. I hope you manage to get a few problems sorted today so that you feel a bit more on top of things. There are days I''ve so wanted my parents back on this earth so I can be looked after for once - a soft place to fall and all that.

Take care - you will get through this and come out a stronger person. x

  • redwine47
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02 Oct 12 #358979 by redwine47
Reply from redwine47
Action.... Thanks I''m breathing normally again...and have ticked off some of the list...

Tbh it''s scary how quickly things can change. You think your getin somewhere & then the stuff hits the fan & your overwhelmed . If I cld just get rid of this poisonous snake that keeps slithering about and intent on wrecking my life. . :(

He will not be happy until I m left emotionally drained & penniless.

Thank goodness I have my children & wee dog to keep me slightly sane for a wee while.

Hope all well for you.

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