A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Still falling apart after 4 months

  • Now Gone From Wiki
  • Now Gone From Wiki's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
06 Oct 12 #359611 by Now Gone From Wiki
Topic started by Now Gone From Wiki
Well, four months ago my wife absconded taking my 12 year old son with her. She hid him for 3 months and forced me to track her down using police, social services and everyone else. Eventually I got her into court and she made allegations that she had suffered domestic violence all of her marriage but still agreed a ''Consent Order'' for contact with my son.

On his first visit to me he told me she had moved in with another man and that my son had heard them having sex. I was devastated by both the confirmation of not just an affair but a true love affair and also the damage done to my son.

On his second visit my son told me he wanted to live with me. Since then I have had my eldest son (who has sided with his mum) try to break in, further allegations of violence and also an allegation that I am forcing my son to stay off school to look after his aged grandmother (who is my ''wife''s'' own mum). My car has been damaged but I cannot confirm who did it.

I have been warned that the allegations will only get worse in the run up to the Directions hearing for residence on the 7th November. I am also told that even if my son does get his wish to live with me (he is 12) that she can still force me to sell the house?

I am running out of strength on this. Just looking for anyone who has been through something similar and survived and maybe some hints on how to deal with it all.

  • QPRanger
  • QPRanger's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
06 Oct 12 #359617 by QPRanger
Reply from QPRanger
Mark really sorry to hear what you are up against: I am going through hell with my ex (just waiting to hear if the cops are going to charge me with ''harrassment'' of the woman: laughable) but I have toughened up over the last few months, I now have no sympathy for the woman and wonder what I ever saw in her all those years ago. The revelation that yours has moved in with another bloke is horrible but this, along with the difficulties she is causing you, at least shows you what you are up against...

You HAVE to keep fighting my friend...DON''T let her destroy you. She is NOT worth it.

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
06 Oct 12 #359624 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Hi Mark. I remember yr story. I remember when you 1st came to WV and how devastated you were and perhaps are.

I just want to touch on what you have said this time round.

Them having sex. You dont know this is true. And, some people that have sex are not necessary in love. If she has had sex with this man, it doesnt mean love. But I know how this is like a knife in yr guts. It hurts to think that someone you love had betrayed you in this way.

Your son and all these allegations. There is a suggestion that the truth will come out in time. I believe this to be a true understanding. No matter what is said, the truth is the truth and it will always come out in the end. So on this one, stand firm. State your case and stand by what you have said.

There are probably many reasons why these allegations are being made. Reasons that you may not be aware of. But just tough it out mate. Rise above it all and wait and see what happens.

Lastly, our imagination is an amazing thing. It can let us have visions of great things. It can also poison us and upset us seing things that may not happen. So what I am trying to say to you is not everything that U imagine or that you are told will happen. Just tough it out. Be the last man standing. And I hope that it all works out right. Which I am sure it will. C.

  • Now Gone From Wiki
  • Now Gone From Wiki's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
06 Oct 12 #359650 by Now Gone From Wiki
Reply from Now Gone From Wiki
Thanks both.

I am struggling to cope. It is tough to realise that my life with my wife is over and also tough to think about what the future is going to be like with allegations, losing the house etc.

I like to think that the woman I loved died 2.5 years ago as that is when I think she started having an affair (or more than one). It does gut me to think of her with him and also to think of how she has betrayed me, stolen money and lied about me.

Not sure the ADs, wine and Lorazapame are going to be enough in the short-term to get through it all but thanks anyway.

  • missguided
  • missguided's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
07 Oct 12 #359657 by missguided
Reply from missguided
Mark
No one can deny that times are crap and never what you would have ever chosen for yourself (or son).

However, now is not time to lay down beaten (even though thats exactly what you feel like doing) for yours and your sons sake you need to dig in and see this through.
The light at the end of the tunnel may seem a long way away, but it is there!
DO NOT give her the satisfaction of seeing you break!
You will come through this and one realise that it was probably for the best too, not matter how hard at the time.
Take care
Miss x

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
10 Oct 12 #360211 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Mark6138 wrote:

Not sure the ADs, wine and Lorazapame are going to be enough in the short-term to get through it all but thanks anyway.


Hi Mark. None of those things will help you. The only thing that will help you is you.

I know this sounds tough but, this is a blip in your life. Ok, its a big blip. But a blip all the same. You have to survive this mate. Show her that you dont need her by not only surviving. But thriving also. You can do it.

Look on the bright side. Yr not living on the streets. Your smart. You found out before it was too late and your better off without her. Who needs a lying scheming b**ch in your life?

Chin up dude. C.

  • Now Gone From Wiki
  • Now Gone From Wiki's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
10 Oct 12 #360247 by Now Gone From Wiki
Reply from Now Gone From Wiki
Sometimes I don''t know what I would do without the advice and support that comes from this site.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11