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Sleepless nights again

  • julie321
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11 Oct 12 #360342 by julie321
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Thought I had passed the sleepless nights stage but since starting divorce proceedings they are back with a vengance.

I am worried about how to pay mortgage and bills as stbx has stopped his monthly payment, he has seen a solicitor so I assume she has advised him to do so.

My solicitor is writing to him re divorce and finances but how long will all this take. I have 6000 in savings but this will soon diminish as the only income I have is 608 from pension. Lump sum has been used to supplement my income even when he was paying me, as my income had halved since retirement.

Is there anything I can do about mortgage, it is with Bradford & Bingley and they no longer provide mortgages so I guess they will not be happy if I contact hem. It is in joint names by the way.

Is there a problem if I use my lump sum savings as I guess he will want half of that even though he spent all his redundancy and I didn''t see a penny.

Feel like jumping under a train I am so stressed.

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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11 Oct 12 #360368 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Hi Julie,

As soon as divorce papers have been served and you have a case number apply for MPS.

In the meantime, use your savings to pay the mortgage, keep all the paperwork for proof, you will not be penalised by the court for keeping the roof over your head and he can''t have a claim on what''s gone.

Bradford & Bing are now owned by Santander, they took over all aspects so you could go to see them with a view to paying interest only until financials sorted out.

Thinking about you, stay strong.

Hugs,
NWTT.

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11 Oct 12 #360371 by julie321
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Thankyou NWTT
So scared of contacting B&B as they no longer do mortgages and are trying to encourage people to leave. It is in joint names so I suppose stbx would have to sign even if I could agree interest only.

Haven''t felt this down in ages, people will slate me for this but the truth is it would have been better if he had died. What about the kids people will say but he causes them so much anguish too surely it can''t be worth it.

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11 Oct 12 #360383 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Dear Julie,

I can echo that sentiment, I have often and still do, think it would have been better if he had died.

On so many levels its wrong to wish someone dead, but thats not what we are saying. The mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my ex has had a greater affect on life than ever the physical abuse did. The situation with my ex came to a head when he and OW were involved in an RTA. They were not seriously hurt but as a result he was charged with being 3 times over the drink drive limit and lost his licence.

On a practical note, I am with Santander, do you not pay your mortgage to them? My B&B savings acc became Santander, perhaps worth an anonymous call just to see the options.

Take care,
NWTT x

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11 Oct 12 #360386 by julie321
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Thanks NWTT
Have received all paperwork from sols so I gues I will just return it and get on with it. Might pluck up courage to ring tomorrow when I feel a bit stronger, feel so shakey at the moment, what an awful way to have to live.

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11 Oct 12 #360391 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Yes, its bad days and horrific days, just remember it will get better.

Take time out today and apply for MPS tomorrow, usually it will get heard quite quickly so maybe you will not need to go down the mortgage route.

NWTT xx

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11 Oct 12 #360419 by julie321
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Don''t know how he knows when I am feeling vunerable but stbx has just texted regarding maintenance payment. Cannot afford to give me much he says but would like to help as much as possible but will not say how much he is willing to help.
On the verge of sending in authorisation to solicitor to proceed and agreeing to letter she wants to send and now am wobbling again, why am I so weak, this is not like me at all.

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