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Taking my son through court?

  • rugby333
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12 Oct 12 #360654 by rugby333
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Oh, forgot to answer the original thread.

Forget the court, just let him see his kids and get on with your own life.

  • GETTING STRONGER NOW
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12 Oct 12 #360660 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
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I am not nor have i ever withheld contact. I have even arranged for him to come to the home when the kids refused to go with him. I have taken the kids to his house and dropped them off only to have to return because he could not cope with them.
My 13 yr old daughter was the one who had suspicions that their dad was having and affair, for her to find out it was with his step -niece, someone who babysat for them and was considered part of the family i think lets you see why she should feel betrayed.
My life would be so much easier if I knew every other weekend they were going to stay with their dad.. i would actually have a life. I have tried my hardest NOT to show my feelings to them but he is the one who believes they should trust and respect him just because he is their dad... it doesn''t matter that he has ripped their world apart and destroyed any respect they had for him. How do you they trust him when he promised not to text his girlfriend for an hour while they went for tea with him, only for my son to catch him texting in the toilet.
I appreciate not all men may be the same and I agree some partners may be hurting and pass them feelings onto kids, but i feel i may have made the situation worse by forcing them into seeing him when they clearly did not want to.. Now i am doing what they request he takes me to court... He couldn''t possibly believe it was his behavior in any way... Just like it was me that made him sleep with his niece or his work colleague.

Sorry for the rant but I have just recieved yet another solicitors letter full of lies ..:angry::angry:

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12 Oct 12 #360667 by rugby333
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Don''t worry, this is the right place to have a rant!

Its obvious you are angry. Understandably so.

It is equally obvious your best bet is to just respond to his solicitors that he can have whatever contact he wants.

Once agreed then let him and your daughter sort out their relationship: she will be 16 in a few years time and then it will be up to her what happens from then on.

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12 Oct 12 #360674 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
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you make it sound so simple. That was how i had handled it until he persistently sent them emotionally threatening txt messages..or left messages on answer phone. If they did not respond then i would get the blame.. he doesn''t even pay for their mobile phones I do.

I got over been angry at him, i''m angry at myself for allowing him to treat me the way i did for so long.. the reason he is now doing all this is because i didn''t beg for him to come home, he didn''t think i would divorce him, he didn''t think i could cope without him.. but he got a shock.. i got a social life, a new car, a nice house, friends, money to spend on myself instead of his designer clothes...yes it would be easier if he saw the kids and took his responsibility but he hasn''t done that for the last 15 years when he was at home so i can''t see him starting now.

I asked him at the beginning "just leave the kids alone and let them process everything, let them calm down and deal with it and i''m sure they would be fine" but NO he constantly turned up here or txt them, rang them, phoned school and turned up at after school activities.. but when he saw them he was only ever nasty and commanding.

he was making my daughter and sons life miserable, surely has a parent i should protect them from that if i can?

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12 Oct 12 #360678 by rugby333
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No you should not ''protect'' them from him. He is their father. Tell your children that contact is agreed and that they are going. End of.

Truly: it is best for your children, best for you and best for him.

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12 Oct 12 #360682 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
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so i can pick my son up after his dad has thrown him across the room again, hurt his arms and ripped his shirt or take my daughter to the hospital because he has broken another finger or chipped another tooth!!!
I think i''ll leave it up to them..
if at 14 and 12 i tell them they have to do something that is clearly having a detrimental affect on their lives they would soon lose respect for me. I suppose if he was a peadophile it would be ok because hes their father.
Respect, trust and loyalty are earned they are not just a given because he is their father, once lost its hard to regain.
Has the saying goes any man can be a father it takes a special man to be a dad!

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12 Oct 12 #360710 by jar of hearts
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Well said Getting Stronger, my children will not see their father at all and I am certainly not going to force them and lose them the chance of a loving respectful relationship with the one parent they still have. Why would my children want to see their father when he has hit them when they are alone in his presence, ignored them at all other times, assaulted the youngest and been arrested for it, then tried to have another child arrested - (twice!) when she defended herself against his violence. He has stolen all their savings, tried to steal their animals etc etc throughout their entire lives. Oh but of course they are dying to see him because of their genetic bond - I think not.

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