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Will counselling help me deal with things?

  • stillalive
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01 Aug 08 #36691 by stillalive
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Counselling is the best investment for your emotional future.
Do it. If GP disagrees have a look for women centers around. Quite often they have counsellors who work for very reasonable fees.

  • Marshy_
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01 Aug 08 #36694 by Marshy_
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Buttons. Counseling has been proved to work in certain circumstances and may work for you. But its one of those suck it an see things. In other words you wont know until you try. I am recieving counseling now. This is my second lot. The 1st was with relate. You wont get answers from a counseler. Its a talking shop mostly and talking does help. Have you tried samaritans? I used to ring them almost daily at one stage. And talking helps by lining up the ducks in your head. Getting you to sort it out. You can go to relate direct but its expensive. I am with a private counseling service now and we just fix a price. Its kinda based on what you can afford. As someone said on here some area's offer free counseling via the NHS. Where I live they dont.

You may need more than one set of sessions. Divorce changes all our lives. Nothing is left the same afterwards and that takes some getting used to.

So give it a go. You have nothing to lose. You have probably invested a lot of time and money on yr husband. So why not invest in yourself? You are worth it. C

  • ScoobyDont
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01 Aug 08 #36697 by ScoobyDont
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GPs can indeed arrange cognitive therapies which are different to counselling. Counselling just allows you to figure out what went on whilst providing you with a listening ear. We feel a need to try and understand what happened because we then feel we can learn something from it and perhaps then, move on without making the same mistakes again.

Cognitive therapy involves the other person (the advisor) and is performed by people qualified to do this. Cognitive therapy is generally better for those of us who feel they have in some way caused the problems they are experiencing. For instance being in a perpetual cycle of meeting and splitting up.

People often loose massive amounts of self esteem during breakups and then start to self-doubt. This can lead to them pointing the finger at themselves. The most common cause of marriage breakdown is being with the wrong person in the first place. It is very unlikely to be an individual that causes it all to happen. It almost always takes 2. It is however; very easy to start blaming yourself but it is not healthy or most probably right.

In the end when all this is over and you feel whole and happy again, I feel that you still won't be able to fully understand it all. How can you understand what the other person was thinking, feeling or doing? It is difficult enough with someone of the same gender. We are all individuals.

Counselling does help and I have used it in the past to help me get over a breakup. This is how it helped me. It gave me the opportunity to dump all the stuff I was feeling and had stuck in my thoughts on a person and just leave. This somehow allowed me to then feel that all that stuff was not only dealt with but also left there in that room. This can indeed help those of us going through problems such as ours. In the end I put it down to REASONS UNKOWN!

I hope this helps you rationalise and make a decision as which type of counselling you might be interested in. Throughout all the bad times you will experience remember. We are all valuable members of society and good people who deserve to loved for who we are. Someone’s failure to do that is their failure not ours. You do however, need to be with the right person in the first place.

Best of luck

  • buttons
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01 Aug 08 #36704 by buttons
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Thanks everyone for all your replies, they've been really helpful. Lots of food for thought there, and I will do some research into what's available where I live and what might suit me. I do think I desparately need to talk to someone before I go mad!

I'm a little scared to be honest, but then I'm scared of everything at the moment, so no change there - I think that's why I feel so 'stuck'.

Best wishes to you all,
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