A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


texting like a fool

  • jamieh
  • jamieh's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
10 Aug 08 #39284 by jamieh
Reply from jamieh
Bloody hell ...having just gone through so much of a similar situation myself, I realise it isn;t just me who has done stupid texts of one kind one minute and rhen the total opposite texts the next

i now give my mobile fone to my best buddy who prevents mne from doing something stupid and regrttable ... and i believe this is the right thing although it feels weird not having my mobile with me

you're not alone for feeling or behaving this way ... i'm learning but unfortunately I am likely to make the same mistake again tomorrow, although I am realising that I MUST pause for a few seconds before doing something rash and then regretting it for ages

best wishes xx

  • anotherone
  • anotherone's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
10 Aug 08 #39291 by anotherone
Reply from anotherone
Hi there, I don't think for one minute you are the only one that has done this.....so stop beating yourself up about it we are all human, although I don't text but in the very beginning I was sending emails, but have now cut off all contact with him as it was just too upsetting.

Why not type out your text ....but do not send. It might work gets what you want off your chest and can delete it later on when you feel better.

Take care

  • megan
  • megan's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
11 Aug 08 #39304 by megan
Reply from megan
The very best advice I had from wiki was DO NOT CONTACT HIM
Take his number out of your phone don't e-mail, don't drive past his house.

Ok I did them all but it only confirms to him all the things he said about you.
When you have no contact it is so much easier. Even 9 months down the line any contact screws my head up. It's hard but try not to do it.
However red wine......................... now thats a different matter!

  • lillyanne
  • lillyanne's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
11 Aug 08 #39307 by lillyanne
Reply from lillyanne
Actually, no wine is even better - for me anyway. Did exactly the same, he ignored me, i got nasty, he calls PC Plod who pays me a visit. We play right into their hands. He's just dumped all the crap fro our house at my parents and kept the good stuff for him and his floozie. Its a good job I dont know where they live - I'm pretty good with eggs. lol

  • ScoobyDont
  • ScoobyDont's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
11 Aug 08 #39318 by ScoobyDont
Reply from ScoobyDont
Hi Ruby,

Everyday I stop myself from doing something like this. I have not had contact with my ex since she left around 6 weeks ago. She hasn't contacted me and I can only guess from this that she is off living the high life with someone new. I can't rationalise how she could be just getting on with it when every day for me is a complete struggle.

I know how you feel and I really have to be strong not to be in contact. I miss her terribly but I can't do anything about it. The worst thing is wanting to hear from her, speak to her, meet her and see her again but I know this could be devastating for me. I don't think I could bear the consequences if she told me she was happy with someone else. Don't get me wrong I always wanted her to be happy. I just couldn't make her happy.

This is why I stay away because the possible alternative is too difficult to contemplate. If she wanted me she would be in touch so I just carry on from day-to-day. Just getting by and just existing. That's how it has to be until all this is over and I can live again.

Sorry none of this is positive rousing and motivating stuff but I hope this helps you to understand why it is better for YOU to do as I and struggle though. Good luck and tomorrow is another day..........

  • paulnewman
  • paulnewman's Avatar
  • New Member
  • New Member
More
11 Aug 08 #39332 by paulnewman
Reply from paulnewman
best advice take his number of your phone - you are kidding yourself if you think you need it - you don't

im 3 years into this now and time does heal you will probably hear it alot but it is true

you will gets lots of advice, some good some bad and you will probably make loads more mistakes before you start to feel better.

you ain't alone in this so don't beat yourself up,i only came across this site a few weeks ago and wish i had 3 years ago cos trust me reading through peoples post's will give you incredible strength.

3 years on i still feel pangs of regret, guilt and anger but compared to where i was, to where you are now, you cannot believe how far you will come.

3 years sounds along time i know especially when you are finding it hard just getting by from day to day but you will get through - you will be happy again.

i lost everythng - think of the lowest place you can get to - kids,wife i loved dearly,everything material,job, bankrupt, locked up for battering the fella she had the affair with,, mistakes i did the lot no half measures.

now at uni studying, beautiful girlfriend who actually loves me, kids ring me everyday, life isn't what it was but it's good, in alot of ways much much better cos i am a better stronger person - you will be to

mind talk makes you think that they are having fantastic lives without you - time teaches you that they are not.

take heart girl and delete that F*@$^$& number.

my first ever post so feel honoured lol x

  • BRM
  • BRM's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
11 Aug 08 #39337 by BRM
Reply from BRM
I'd say no contact is best but when you have kids you have to speak to each other. They best way is only talk to each other about the children and NOTHING else. Also when you do talk keep it polite, I still say "please" & "thank you" to my STBX. It also helps the children deal with it better.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11