Family break-up, separation and divorce are incredibly stressful times in our lives, and have an enormous emotional impact on us.
At times, it can feel like you are drowning, completely overwhelmed by what you are going through, and that there is no "light at the end of the tunnel" - despite what others are saying to you.
It is important to know that you are not alone, and there is no need to suffer in silence. While our members here are very supportive and offer and provide much-needed empathy and shoulders to lean on, we can''t provide the same level of support that professional organisations who have properly trained staff that deal with people suffering from depression, emotional stress, etc.
If you need to talk to someone, the Samaritans have a phone line that is staffed 24 hours a day, every day - you can call them on 08457 90 90 90. The Samaritans will listen to you and help you talk through your concerns, worries and troubles. www.samaritans.org
The Depression Alliance is a fantastic resource and offers a lot of different support services through their website - www.depressionalliance.org
CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is a support organisation for men who are suffering from depression, or who find themselves in some sort of crisis with which they may need additional help and support to overcome. THey also ahve a helpline, and you can find out more on their website - www.thecalmzone.net
Breathing Space offers tools and support services to men, their website offers more information and details of how to contact them - www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk
Your GP will also be able to provide you with medical support and suggest local organisations in your area that will be able to help you.
Having depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it will affect one in four people at any given time, it is an illness that you will recover from, with the right help and support.
You do not need to suffer alone and in silence. If you feel that you need to talk to someone, then please contact one of the organisations listed above.
I would also add that some people cope really well with situations like this,,,they get their heads down, get on with it and look to the future.I''m one of those people but i also realised that despite my positivity, i''m also human and at some point have got to deal with my feelings and emotions. I went to some counselling sessions referred by my gp and within minutes i was in bits and all that pent up and hidden away emotion came out and over 8 sessions I became a new person. I would recommend it to anyone and everyone going through a relationship breakdown..it really helped me greatly.
I find your blogs so very helpful and informative. Do you know of any organisations that support women?
I''m doing my best to support myself (gym, Zumba classes etc) and my close family and friends are with me all the way, but I sometimes find it so hard to cope with all of the negativity this divorce process is creating for me. Sometimes, I ask myself, am I wallowing in my own self pity and therefore creating my own negativity and if so why? Couldn''t sleep a wink last night, yet couldn''t put my finger on the reason for this. I wasn''t reminiscing, or thinking of the stbx - my eyes/body was just not having any of it. In the past I have drunk myself to sleep but this type of self destruction has now stopped, although it is very tempting to resume - at least I get some sort of rest.
Hello lqt42v, the organisations which support only women that I am aware of, are mostly those which support specific "groups" of women, ie victims of domestic violence, ethnic minorities, those living in a particular geographical area, etc.
Honestly, I think the best support you can get (either as a man or a woman) is right here - it''s free, altruistic, impartial, and comes from those who understand, who "get" how you are feeling, have walked a similar path and who are able to encourage you to keep going, that you won''t always like this, that life does improve and that you too will get through this.
I think you are doing some amazing activities to keep yourself occupied and healthy. But you also need to acknowledge that you are grieving, and you need to allow yourself time to grieve, and time to heal - don''t rush things, allow it to happen organically. I think it''s true that negativity breeds negativity - try to find a small, or even tiny, positive when you are feeling negative. Even just simply being alive and breathing is a positive. Practice self-care, focus holistically on yourself, be kind to yourself.
Everyone is different,and while we experience the same emotional spectrum, there is no hard and fast rule about when we begin to feel better, when the situations we are in stop consuming our every waking thought - I know this is such a cliche, but time really is a great healer.