My situation is not unlike yours other than I brought mine upon myself. The kids have to be the primary concern, especially if they are still quite young, but you would be surprised how much they may understand if the problems you and your wife are dealing with are carefully and calmly explained. Let them know that they can ask any questions they like, nothing is taboo. This will help them feel more secure and they will understand that their parents love them even if they no longer love each other.
You are right about decency being regarded by some as weakness. There are those who will take advantage of you because you will not stoop to being dishonorable even under difficult circumstances. I think you will have to do whatever you feel most comfortable with in your own mind.
Writing a blog is an excellent form of therapy. It was suggested to me a few days ago by another member and I have started one, though not on this site as some of what I have to say would not go down too well here. The purpose of a blog is to write out your thoughts fully and not censor yourself because someone else may prefer you to keep quiet. If you bottle up the raging and whirring of your mind you will do yourself no good. I am already feeling a sense of release after just a few entries on my blog and I hope you will find the same.
I wish you well. I am told it will get better but have yet to find out as it is still early days for me too.