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found it so hard!

  • Hollyxxx
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30 Dec 13 #417269 by Hollyxxx
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Hello all,

Im not sure how you have all coped but I have found the festive season so very very hard, I have tried my best but after being with my husband for over 30yrs I never really knew what loneliness was, what a shocker. I lost my family at a very young age my husband was by my side and helped me through it. now my husband has left for a new life, I did not think about the other horrible side effects, on christmas morning my adult children who came to stay with me opened presents from my stbx husbands parents, they had not bothered to send me anything, I did not want a present but that hurt so much that they have moved on so quickly not giving me a thought, also so many of my friends have not bothered to ask me round, I would not have gone but I feel so sad how let down I am by so many people, I need to give my self a kick up the **** and get on with life and stop feeling sorry for my self but its so hard, just needed to vent.
Hx

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30 Dec 13 #417272 by driven40
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Holly (((hugs )))

It has as you say been hard so sad that your friends didn''t invite you around

I have to say that 2014 has got to be so much better try and look for new clubs and interests I have even looked at going away next year just to get away from it all maybe this is something you could look at? Start making new memories just for yourself I know what it is like to loose your parents and next year my mum won''t be around so I am thinking of bringing in some new traditions

Drivenxxxxx

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30 Dec 13 #417274 by Hollyxxx
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Thanks driven, I like you am going to try an be away next year, or if not able to to that plan to have some kind of plan to keep most days full as this year has been awful. you take care, my heart goes out to you looking after your mum, I have a friend with terminal cancer who was and is still my rock she is one amazing lady listens to me going on and on even when she is facing what she is coping with she looks out for me, I nursed her through cancer a few years ago then her husband left her, she was helping me then the cancer came back full on. but she still looks out for me, out of all my friends she has been there 100%, wonderful lady spending tomorrow night with her. I try and count my blessings and feel awful moaning about my pain when so many people are suffering more in this world.
Hx

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30 Dec 13 #417276 by driven40
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Holly look at holidays now they are cheaper and it gives you 11 months to pay for it and something to look forward to in those darkest days

As for moaning all the time don''t worry we need to get it off our chests

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30 Dec 13 #417277 by Shezi
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Holly I know you are feeling very sensitive right now and Christmas just enhances that sometimes... but try not to take it too personally how others around you behave. For many, they either don''t want to upset their own child by doing the wrong thing (as in the case of in-laws). Or, they just don''t know how to behave so do nothing. Or, they try to support one or the other (or both) and sometimes get it wrong.

I doubt that it''s because no one cares about you anymore - it may just be their own inability to manage it any better. It doesn''t change anything except maybe how you feel about yourself?

Shezi

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30 Dec 13 #417279 by afonleas
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Holly,you are entitled to feel the way you do,as you said a very long marriage,many xmas''s spent together,just like the rest of us.

Our ex''s decided to alter the lives we were living,no input from us,they selfishly took what we had and turned it upside down.
Xmas time was the worse thing to get through,but you got through,you survived!!!

No doubt you shed a few tears,as did many others:( but you had the people who really matter in your world, around you.Your kids love you unconditionally,and will always be there for you,regarding your stbx in-laws,their loss,they have lost a daughter-in-law with morals,principles and downright goodness in her soul.Try not to think about them,moving on?possibly the best thing they can do.Regarding friends,well this one is tough,they should be there for you,they should support you....
What''s the saying
"A friend in need,is a friend indeed!"
Thankfully my friends were there for me,and yes I suppose I bored them all witless,they still listened,but at least you have got someone you really can call a friend.

Holly,I am sorry but this is how it is,you have to find a new life for yourself,new interests,new friends.Yes it will be hard,way out of your comfort zone....
But you can do it,you have to do it...
Maybe that will be the correct thing to do,in going away,maybe not,all I know is that next xmas will be a lot easier than this one;) ;)

2014 will bring us all a little peace I hope,and more confidance in oursleves..

Holly take care,we are here for you whenever,lean on your wiki family;)they will never let you down....

Luv and cwtchs
Afon Xxxx

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30 Dec 13 #417285 by Hollyxxx
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Thanks afron and shezi, so kind of you to reply to me, I will try to take your advice on board as I know both of you have walked in my shoes, but god its hard and Im struggling I so want to be the bigger person getting on with my life coping and feel lucky about how fortunate I am compared to so many people in this world going through so much, but boy Im struggling just want to curl up into a ball in the corner of a room, and it all to go away! how weak is that, and believe me thats coming from a normally very strong person. oh well another day tomorrow and more s**t will prob hit the fan.

hx

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