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Emotionally Abusive Relationship

  • Freespirit1
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11 Apr 14 #429569 by Freespirit1
Topic started by Freespirit1
How can I tell if an an abusive marraige? How do I prove it/ what evidence do I need? What then do I do to proceed with a divorce? :(:(

  • wishfulthinking
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11 Apr 14 #429571 by wishfulthinking
Reply from wishfulthinking
You could Google emotional abuse to confirm that is what you have gone through, however the label is not so important as finding examples for divorcing on grounds of unreasonable behaviour.

When I first started out, I found trying to find information on here a little too daunting, so I called the Wikivorce helpline (0800 44886644).

Good luck!

  • NL_sadincheshire
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12 Apr 14 #429663 by NL_sadincheshire
Reply from NL_sadincheshire
Hello Freespirit1

wishfulthinking has given you sound advice. A few examples of abuse I can think of at the top of my head:
1- no affection
2- inappropriate relationship with someone outside of your marriage (e.g. an affair but that one is tough to put in those terms to a judge as you need proof)
3- put downs (about the sound of your voice, your vocabulary, what you wear, the shape of your body, what you want to watch on tv, who your friends are, what type of bread you choose... individually they might seem minor but it is the drip drip drip of accumulated assault on your self esteem that is taxing!)
4- emotional unvailability
5- no fun social interactions together (they won''t attend parties with your friends and won''t invite you when they go out with their friends)
6- physical threats often ending with you hurt but it is your fault... or so they say to you anyway...''look what you have made me do''
7- threats to kill you (at least that one i did not wait to see happen!- ha!)

...oh hang on. i''ve just listed the list of UB I provided against my X in my own case... feel free to use as ''inspiration''

be prepared for them to potentially say none of this happened but if they still sign the divorce petition then that''s all that matters... at least you would be out of the toxic relationship

Keep posting on wiki for support


  • flowerofscotland
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12 Apr 14 #429666 by flowerofscotland
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Hi Freespirit1,

Toxic/ emotionally abusive relationships can be all of the above, but for me it was how he made me feel deep down inside. Sit down in a quiet empty room with a notepad and pen, as hard as this is, cast your mind back to times when your partner would belittle you, call you names, make fun of you (especially in company), draw your examples from this and you will soon see a clear pattern/picture happening.

When we are in the midst of an emotionally abusive relationship and I know this from my own experience, we ride the storm, we ignore the fact that the one person who is ''supposed'' to love us could hurt us in this way, I know I never knew much different at the time, so I put up and shut up until my confidence and self-esteem was absolutely rock bottom.

Facing the truth is never easy, because we know we have been subject to this kind of abuse for years, but by digging deep it helps face our demons, for the better.

Take care for now FoS x

  • hawaythelads
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12 Apr 14 #429668 by hawaythelads
Reply from hawaythelads
Personally........I think it was the night the night the ex harridan Immacced me head and one eyebrow when I was asleep was a bit of a give away :huh::blink:
All the best

  • Freespirit1
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12 Apr 14 #429762 by Freespirit1
Reply from Freespirit1
Thank you I will do. New to this site but seems useful x

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