I was very lucky when my wife left... first i found you guys and secondly I had a lot of Indian colleagues that were spiritual. You have both taught me a lot!!!
Shortly after my wife leaving lots of people said oh,, you poor thing, lots more fish in the sea etc etc - it really didn''t help. But one guy said "let her take her Karma with her" I had never looked at it that way before. It made me think a lot - it led me to completely different conversations with others and myself.
Try this three times morning and night,
Buddhist Mantra on Forgiveness
For whatever harm I have caused others, may they forgive me.
For whatever harm others have caused me, may I forgive them.
For whatever harm I have caused myself, I forgive myself.
What i do find interesting was that there were many in my family that wanted me to play tit for tat with my STBX. you know the sort of stupid thing... the stuff that for that split second you think .. there hurt you, got you....but now even they are seeing the power of forgiveness - it helps my daughter, it helps me and i hope it helps my stbx. (actually with the STBX its seems to be making everything harder as she is becoming more nasty)
As so many of you know (and have helped me) I have had some terrible moments - but they are going, they are becoming less frequent and last for mins now rather than half a day. Forgiveness makes us complete again.
Totally get what you''re saying Keith - have learnt so much about myself during this process - not there yet as anger still there but for me this also plays a part as feel it can sometimes make me more determined to get through this and out of bad situation. Hope eventually to be able to forgive more or less completely but think I will only be able to do that when have come out of the other side. Do realise that you only hurt yourself in long run by holding on to negative feelings.