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  • elizadoolittle
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18 May 14 #433898 by elizadoolittle
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Hello Olive

I have never phoned the Samaritans but I know plenty of people who have and have found it very helpful.

Do see if you can find a counsellor or therapist. I am seeing one on the NHS referred by my GP. We are lucky that we are near a centre of excellence for psychotherapy.

Counsellors are very valuable but you can''t phone them whenever you feel like it, and calling friends the whole time is quite a burden on them. You can PM me for my mobile no though I will have it off eg when in bed.

So in the dark hours you can always do as some have suggested above and write it down. I find it helpful to blog here - people read different things into what you put out there and respond with support and different perspectives.

I have made some good friends (some of whom I have yet to meet) through wiki - don''t be shy.

  • Plainjane49
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18 May 14 #433906 by Plainjane49
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Hello Olive

Sorry you are feeling down. I am new to wikivorce (at very raw and painful stage - 10 days since "announcement" by my husband) but can assure you that the Samaritans are there to offer a listening ear - I certainly found them helpful. Please ring them if you need to talk.

Take care

PJ

  • pixy
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18 May 14 #433910 by pixy
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Don''t forget that you can ''talk'' to other wikis in chat. It''s ideal for those low moments and everyone in there wil know just how you feel.

  • Mitchum
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19 May 14 #433915 by Mitchum
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There you see, the wiki support machine is in action!

You need a little support group around you now. People both real and virtual who will listen. Wikis are brilliant listeners and we''re here when others may be busy. There are so many of us that there''s always a wiki to listen.

You might try writing a journal. I found it so helpful because it''s sort of talking to yourself. My first days were a blur as I scribbled down anything and every thought which popped into my head. Some of it in capitals, some scribbled and underlined, just the outpourings of grief and fear. I sometimes woke in the night and continued the furious scribbling. It''s strangely cathartic and calming.

Do venture into Chat where you will be made welcome and people will understand if you just watch for a while. It helps you to feel less alone.

Do go and tell your GP what''s happened and ask about counselling. There''s possibly a waiting list and if you decide later you don''t need it, you can always cancel but best to get on the list. xx

  • sun flower
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19 May 14 #433921 by sun flower
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Just so you know - you are not alone - I used all of the above - journaling (I still do) - but I used to draw pictures and diagrams expressing the feelings - I am no artist - but it stopped the feelings from exploding. I did phone the Samaritans, (a thank you there), use chat, go on anti depressants - all of these things - just to survive. You think you will never forget but a wiki told me recently she found an old journal and she had forgotten those depths of despair to a certain extent.

So, for now, survival is the game. Whatever gets you through the day. (I used to walk and walk - and also cut a big hedge back going ''ex''s bollocks'' with every cut of the saw!). Be careful re drink etc....I don''t want to patronise - the trick is with anything to do no more harm....(to you or those around you).......''everything in moderation and all that''.

Take care Oliv - I know you think you cannot stand it - but somehow, slowly and painfully we develop an inner strength and resilliance. We are not born with it, we have to ''grow it''. You will - but in the meantime be your own best friend and keep reaching out - to wikis, counsellors, your gp, friends and family etc. Many of us have found help and understaning from strangers and people who were on the peripheral of our lives - because they understand in a way those closer to us can''t.

Hang on ther Olive....I know sometimes you think you can''t surive but ''you jolly well can''.....with hugs.

  • raybird
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19 May 14 #433924 by raybird
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id also say try the chat room, one evening, even if you just watch the conversation before `talking` its very friendly and supportive xxxxxx

  • BirkenheadBoy
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19 May 14 #433941 by BirkenheadBoy
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I too agree about the chatroom.

When I first came here, the Wikivorce chatroom was an essential lifeline. Getting to know (In virtual sense) a group of people who understood what was going on with because they were going through the same themselves made everything feel more normal and helped an immense amount with the loneliness that can follow separation.

Simon

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