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How to recover from divorce

  • Declan
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28 May 14 #435027 by Declan
Topic started by Declan
Is it as simple as this ?

Accept life as it is now

Make a choice to take control

Do things that will move me forward

Seems like a plan . Is it a good plan ?

Accept life as it is now ..... Ok , life is not all singing and dancing right now. I am alive and healthy so that''s a start . I am getting divorced . I am single . I am grateful now for a lot of things that I previously took for granted. Maybe, I''m ok with that . I''m learning new skills . Being independent . Understanding , my part in the break up of the marriage . Patience , forgiveness to myself .

Make choice and take control .... Tricky , one this. I have buried my head in the sand too long . After all I am two years down the line and I have run way too long .

Do things that will move me forward.... Big one this . I have no bearing of where I want to go . I am like a rudderless ship being tossed around in a storm . I do know that I would like to one day be in a loving relationship with someone that I can share my life and passions with . Maybe that''s a start . First I have to stand on my own two feet.

Now is the time for me to do my homework . Develop a plan of what I want and where I want to be . Take the decision then take that step .

Sure is tough


  • JTee
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28 May 14 #435032 by JTee
Reply from JTee
Good luck Declan i cant even imagine 2 years down the line i hope when i get there i can lead a better life than i am experiencing at the moment its hell on earth sometimes here.

  • Home alone feeling better
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28 May 14 #435034 by Home alone feeling better
Reply from Home alone feeling better
Morning Declan.

Yep it is tough. I''m only 5 months into this and already aged .....

Just like you I''m having to reevaluate everything in my life. Do I go left or right? Everything is such a muddle, like wading through mud.

One thing for sure is that I am still breathing, taking one step at a time and relying on friends and family for support.

We have all already come such a long way, not easy but we have moved.

I want a place in time where I can be at peace whether that is by myself or with someone new who knows.

Look after yourself.

JTee I hope things are getting easier for you too.

Take care all of us.

  • Marshy_
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28 May 14 #435049 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
All good stuff and its as simple or as complicated as you want to make it. And its a journey dont forget. Getting a good life is not a destination but a lifes work. It doesn''t get instantly better. Just little by little.

But the point I want to make is this. When we decide to do something about something then things start to change. Slowly of course as we evolve. So its evolution rather then revolution. But your on the right track. Ok you may have wasted 2 years already. But that does not mean that you have to wait another couple of years. Your new life starts today and everyday is an opportunity to excel and be a force in your own life. Own it. Develop it. Make it yours. We tend to find a lot of what we seek. C.

  • polar
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28 May 14 #435053 by polar
Reply from polar
In my case it was deep gloom and doom for a long time. Then the lightbulb lit up in my head one day. I had read something and suddenly it all made sense.
We all search for answers starting with ''why'' . There are often no answers because you are not in control of the situation. You are dropped into the mire and have to climb out.
I know that when I had the lightbulb moment it was the starting point. Starting from base and climbing up.
As I concentrated on myself and my future it didn''t matter if the other half was having a better time. It was if I was having a good time and making progress.
As it happens I did meet my x at my daughters wedding and all I could think of was ''''was I really married to that''?
I have what I want now and I''m sure that she doesn''t.
Don''t get me wrong it took a long time to get ''''stable'''' again !!

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