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Why.. All the pain and suffering

  • Declan
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04 Jun 14 #435670 by Declan
Topic started by Declan
Good Morning my friends

Watched a program Happy Valley last night . I was ok as I went to bed . However, on waking this morning . I felt so sad.
The program ignited some unresolved issues within me plus intensified the pain of the marriage break up , kids flying the nest , loneliness .
Two years down the line . I''m thinking what the hell is going on .
This pain and suffering sure does hurt . I know it''s lesson time and painful ones they are .
I just have to try and put one foot in front of the other and stop feeling sorry for myself I guess. Sure does hurt though .


  • mightyredmen
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04 Jun 14 #435674 by mightyredmen
Reply from mightyredmen
Feel your pain bud. I feel sad this morning too. Been split 4 years now myself. Time has flown but still miss my family life and seeing my girls every day.

I am a different person now. Ex wife ex friend told me the other day I was a better person, more approachable and happier. Even one of my mates told me when I was married I was aloof and arrogant!

See this thing we all go through changes us. Im sure you are different now.

Keep pushing on forward mate .

  • PGtips
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04 Jun 14 #435684 by PGtips
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Hey D,
Know what you mean, in court when I caught a glimpse of the ex, he seemed to have aged overnight. I felt so sorry for him that I made a mental note to ask my solicitor to go easy on him.
That lasted for about a minute, when I discovered his offer was a 70/30 spilt in his favour...it was an improvement because initially he wanted me to have nothing.
I have gone out of my way to make sure he can see the kids whenever he wants, (best thing to do for them, if I had my way, would move as far away as possible), I used to send him tips on how to get strong and cope with divorce, even contacted his family and told them to go and be with him and give him support as I couldn''t do it during divorce.
Am a flippin'' idiot eh? Why should I still care?? But I do, have no desire to ruin him but will never ever forgive him for breaking up our family. I have worked on forgiving.....still working on it...
It''s like you say, there is something so deeply, profoundly sad about it all...
In the beginning, I used to actually schedule crying time in order to cope, after morning school run I set my alarm for 3 hrs crying time limit because crying all day seemed ridiculous, gradually reduced it to 2hrs then 1 hr, over 2 years on I just think about it for a few minutes, no tears, that''s how it is for now.
The only way forward is to let it go and create new dreams, new hopes for the future. Easier said than done, but definitely worth a shot, definitely better than living a life of misery with someone who doesn''t appreciate or love you.
Life is too short for all this crap, so we march on.
PG x

  • OliveOyl
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04 Jun 14 #435686 by OliveOyl
Reply from OliveOyl
Hey Declan

So sorry to hear you''re feeling down. It seems to be triggered by small things sometimes, doesn''t it?

I''m only a very few weeks into the process and thought I was doing ok ... but yesterday I had some good news and now, perversely, I''m feeling very sad. I think it''s the realisation that there''s nobody to share it with any more - so I understand how you feel right now.

Be kind to yourself, D, this too will pass.


  • afonleas
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04 Jun 14 #435687 by afonleas
Reply from afonleas

You know what you have to do,you don''t need anybody to tell you !!!!

Afon Xxxx

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