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Trying for a new approach

  • driven40
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17 Jun 14 #437099 by driven40
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I like to imagine my ex in a bright green mankini with his almost bald ginger head sticking out of the top and his scrawny body and saggy bottom it really makes me want to be sick even though he is going to the gym everyday it''s not working apparently he is up to 8 miles now I just wish he would not keep turning back, just keep going :)

  • Hollyxxx
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17 Jun 14 #437101 by Hollyxxx
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you will get through this olive , like me we need to listen to the more experienced wikis who have gone before us, they did it and we will too. Driven :)that made me chuckle :)xxxx

  • elizadoolittle
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17 Jun 14 #437103 by elizadoolittle
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Hello Olive

Join the club, love. This is what it is like, but it diminishes. It''s not over for me yet, maybe never will be. But the moments when the memories are ''ho hum'' have started to appear and I can only imagine one day they will be more frequent than the stabbing pain.

Had a melt down myself a couple of days ago. Today feeling a bit better. Nothing really changes of course but your attitude. It is hard if (like so many of us) all kinds of everything reminds you of the x because essentially you have had a lifetime together.

In terms of visualisation, I used to think of imagining him on the loo when images of him doing IT with HER came into my mind. Now I don''t even bother. The picture I have in my mind is now his stupid new appearance. Yes, his body is his temple and he has lost weight. But he is no oil paining, and now that he doesn''t have me to dress him, the whole thing has gone to pot. Oh dear. Throwing money at the problem is no substitute for a smidgen of good taste....:)

Chin up - it''s going to get better xx

  • OliveOyl
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26 Jun 14 #437922 by OliveOyl
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Progress - today (well, yesterday, it''s after midnight) I did not cry once!!

  • Homemaker
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26 Jun 14 #437938 by Homemaker
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Hi Olive,

That really is a step in the right direction. Just remember every step forward is a step to a better future for your self.
When I found out I cried and I cried ( especially when he wasn''t home, we are still in the same house). I decided that enough tears have been spend on a man who truly doesn''t deserve them, I''d rather spend my energy on working towards my own future.I try to focus on the positives that this unwanted divorce brings ( I do still have my wobbles). I do feel like a heavy load has been lifted, my stbex did not have a nice word to say about me for a few years, the constant criticism, all finally stopped. I now get to decide what I want to do when I want to do it. I will be the one to decide when the divorce procedure will take place and that will be when I am good and ready financially and emotionally.I am gradually building up my confidence in myself again but doing things now that he used to do for me and it feels good! So good for you just keep going one step at a time and you will get there;)

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