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A little bit back

  • dilbert001
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21 Jul 14 #440203 by dilbert001
Topic started by dilbert001

First and foremost i want to thank you for all help that you guys have given me over the months - for those that are new to the site...... as hard has this may seem you really will get a your own life back and you will feel whole.

My god its painful - as a good wikki once said to me, you will have never experienced a pain like it. He was right - i had never.

But i have come back on to give people hope, my separation has now been about 4.5 months and whilst there are still huge upsets they are getting less and less. My ups are getting more and more - i have followed the advice of most of the guys on the site - eat during the first few weeks, make contact with others, reach out to medical staff, dont look back - or forward just get through the moment.... exercise.. a walk a run, join the gym. Above all else!!!! post and share how you feel - yep your ball your eyes out but you know what at the end you will feel a little bit better and bit by bit you will become strong again.

My downs have shifted from the emotional stuff (which made things so hard) to the more mechanics of money etc - don''t get me wrong that''s very very important but its not the same pain.

One thing i did find was Mindfullness - have a look on youtube. For me it stopped the incredible tension and confusion that went on in my head .... It was events that triggered more events in my mind and then i reacted which made this worse.

I now am living in the moment - my mind will not tell my body to go into meltdown. I will not over think things _ i will focus more on the being rather than the doing.

I am sure none of us on this site wanted this to happen but for whatever reason it has. Dont look back at what you had and yearn, don''t look forward and pang

Sit back and allow a fantastic new future to unfold - whatever that is!

Because that new future will emerge - and you will enjoy it. Moment by moment!!!

  • rubytuesday
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22 Jul 14 #440266 by rubytuesday
Reply from rubytuesday

Thank you for your post - I''m sure your words and experiences will help many who are at the start of their journey and help realise that things do get better, slowly but surely.

Good to hear you are making improvements - Mindfulness is wonderful, it''s something I practice too. There are lots of resources available online - have a look at bemindful.co.uk/

Please keep us updated with your journey, I wish you all the best for your future,


  • DivorceAgain
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22 Jul 14 #440283 by DivorceAgain
Reply from DivorceAgain
As someone with kids who like watching Kung Fu Panda, A quote by master oogway:

Oogway: Quit, don''t quit? Noodles, don''t noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."

  • Vastra1
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22 Jul 14 #440298 by Vastra1
Reply from Vastra1
Good to hear you are feeling stronger and more positive.
I am also amazed by how effective mindfulness / meditation is, even just a few minutes gives your mind some well-needed respite.

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