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  • Gugsy
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06 Nov 14 #448509 by Gugsy
Topic started by Gugsy
my whole life has been built around work and family, and intentionally did not build relationships outside, and i guess am terrified of being alone in a big town after 15 years. Any hints and tips on survival as its a really painful time dealing with the fact that your partner refuses any family time.:(:(

  • NellNoRegrets
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06 Nov 14 #448550 by NellNoRegrets
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The world is full of lonely people. Some of them live on their own, others in relationships that don''t work.

You can do two things

1. deal with your fear about being alone - its quite survivable. Fear is really about thinking you can''t cope - but we humans are more strong than we know and can cope with all sorts.

2. Make some friends. I don''t know what your interests are, but when my ex left, I joined a bookclub. I only went for about a year, by which time I''d found all my old friends were happy to stay friends, but it helped get me out of the house once a month and meet new people. Whatever your interests there will be people near where you live, or on the internet, who share those interests.

You can also check the Community Link tab at the top of this page to see if there are any Wikievents you could attend.

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06 Nov 14 #448556 by Gugsy
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thanks for replyinf and trying to help. will do.

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07 Nov 14 #448584 by elizadoolittle
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Take a look at meetups on;line - there are thousands and thousands of groups, mostly free, for all interests, where you can meet people in an informal setting, no pressure of dating or whatever, just pursue your interests, whether photography, sport, languages, rambling, theatre, drinking, technology, honestly there is something for everyone, esp if you live in or near London.

One thing leads to another, but just take a small step to start with. Good luck.

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08 Nov 14 #448684 by dilbert001
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Hey Gugsy!!

I was in that club some 10 months ago, I worked very hard at work and for me the weekend was all about the family. I really used to look forward to the weekends and then BANG!

The the weekends were about cleaning the house and doing all sorts of stuff to get busy - I actually looked forward to getting back to work.

But as has been said in the previous posts - it does take a bit of time, it really is small steps. (Meet ups are good - there are just so many groups of people getting together on all sorts of stuff)What I found was if you don''t get out of the house you just don''t stand a chance

Dealing with the fear of being alone - for me this was the hardest. But i am there now! In actual fact its quite nice now if i have a weekend to myself. One of my "measurements" was how far out am i booked up. it used to be zero. Now its about 6 weeks. Not sure how your fixed financially - but planes, coaches, trains are all really cheap if you book far enough in advance and i can honestly say - if you make the travelling the excitement rather than the arrival it really does become fun. Even airport delays then become fun, because you meet all sorts of people. The one thing i didn''t do was talk about what i was going through.... they didn''t want to hear it and i didn''t want to talk about it

I am not saying i have met lifelong friends that way.... but it certainly got me out talking to people - which was what i needed.

All the best and the best of luck!

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08 Nov 14 #448723 by Gugsy
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Thank you everyone for your comments. This forum and site really helps.

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11 Nov 14 #448919 by WinterBaby
Reply from WinterBaby
Try gumtree.com as there are lots of adverts for different hobbies/sports etc. You might find something you would never have thought of trying.

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