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not as strong as i thought

  • irnbru72
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14 Jan 15 #453759 by irnbru72
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Hi all...so last week I stupidly allowed myself to be talked into a blind date...i felt awkward the whole time conversation was forced and tbh I would rather have been anywhere else...she was loud and foul-mouthed...not my type at all...she asked about the wife and kids so I talked about them....i have since found out that she said all i could talk about was my ex-wife and that i was boring and energy-sapping...now I know this isn''t true-I have enough friends and have had enough girlfriends in my life to know I cant be that boring....but I''m not going to lie it fairly stung to hear...in fact I really felt like crying...I guess I''m still pretty vulnerable and not nearly as strong as I thought...its only one loudmouths opinion and I''ll get over it in a few days...this situation is a learning curve and I''ve learned that dating is a long way off yet

  • Patsy39
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14 Jan 15 #453775 by Patsy39
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I know exactly how you feel

I''ve had awkward dates when my heart sank as soon as I saw the other person....when I wanted the ground to swallow me up....when I just wanted to go home and cry. It can be disheartening and disillusioning and really quite depressing if you have a bad date.

But equally I''ve had dates that have been fun and there''s been a spark and I''ve come away feeling better about myself.

At least you were brave enough to give it a try but unfortunately she just wasn''t your type - but maybe next time you''ll meet someone more on your wavelength.

Like you said its just one loud mouthed woman''s opinion, and she probably just said it because she knew you weren''t interested.

It is hard to date while you still feel vulnerable so maybe just wait until you feel stronger but don''t let one bad experience put you off forever.

Patsy

  • Marshy_
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15 Jan 15 #453780 by Marshy_
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irnbru72 wrote:

I''ve learned that dating is a long way off yet


I suspect it is for you. Give yourself some time to get over it. When you can summarize your ex in a paragraph you have cracked it and dating you would be fun.

Dont be too quick to judge others. She may have been a bit loud etc but many are like this when nervous. They use talking to hide behind. You on the other hand are needy and hurt. And frankly your not ready to date someone. Sorry to be so blunt.

In time, these feelings that you have will pass and you will be able to relax and laugh with someone and enjoy it.

If its any consolation I was just like you once. I would go on dates and I would sit there and think to myself, "why am I here? I should be at home with my family". Except my fam were gone. But as I said above, it gets better. If I have a date I do the ex in 30 seconds and move swiftly on to more happier things like tunes or vids or books I am into etc and laugh and listen. If later on, we need to talk in depth about stuff I can. But not on a first date. Otherwise you will fail on banging on about the ex. Which is the kiss of death for a date.

Use this date as a lesson for you. Its tough I know to hear the feedback on it. But chalk this one up to experience. And I am sorry if I was a bit hard on you. But I want to tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. Marshy.

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15 Jan 15 #453788 by irnbru72
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Not at all any reply is appreciated...just needed to get it out was eating away at me...youre right I guess the floodgates just opened...im actually more annoyed at myself now...i went against my trusted sidekick of 25 years to go on this date...it was his wife''s idea he was dead against it he knows me better than anyone...guess I was having a ''youre getting left on the shelf'' day...thanks for replies folks

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15 Jan 15 #453789 by irnbru72
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Not at all any reply is appreciated...just needed to get it out was eating away at me...youre right I guess the floodgates just opened...im actually more annoyed at myself now...i went against my trusted sidekick of 25 years to go on this date...it was his wife''s idea he was dead against it he knows me better than anyone...guess I was having a ''youre getting left on the shelf'' day...thanks for replies folks

  • Marshy_
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15 Jan 15 #453801 by Marshy_
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irnbru72 wrote:

I was having a ''youre getting left on the shelf'' day...thanks for replies folks


I get it. You want to see if you can still do it. And as you found out yes you can.

So follow your mates advice. He will tell you when your ready.

Lastly there are those that have been there and those that have not. Its the ones that have been there that you should listen to. Marshy.

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