I''ve read through your thread and i''m sorry about all the twists and turns you are having to endure, not least as you are unwell ...
Given you are unwell (and you mentioned the new meds are impacting your cognitive skills - for the worse I imagine ?) may be you could use a letter from your solicitor to hers to gently ask her to deal with the day to day running of the holiday let as your health currently doesn''t allow you to contribute ? ... Only I''m thinking this is not (cannot) be helping your state of well being ...
Hang in there
Thank you, NL_SIC, I really appreciate your response.
Sadly, the STBX is as hard as nails when it comes to illness, unless it''s affecting her. More to the point, I''m steering a tricky course in that I don''t want her to know that her tactics are getting to me. However, though I can do the daily stuff for the flat, I don''t want her relying on me too much - I want her to realise she can run it herself - that might make her choose to accept it.
For example, I received an email from her this afternoon, detailing things wrong with the flat, including...
Failed double glazing unit.
Dirty lampshade needs replacing.
She can''t lock one of the windows.
The point is, it''s a building, not a nuclear submarine. She''s using me.
Interestingly, while my MS can have a negative effect on cognitive skills, Mirtazapine can act positively on them. At present, it''s doing this in brief flashes but I''m also having to concentrate hard on, say, not forgetting things.
But last night/today''s events show how much I''m struggling. I had a massive panic attack last night, drugged myself to sleep and woke with it again at 9am. I have previous experience of such things but this was by far the worst - ever. Of course, expecting it to happen helped trigger it and made it very bad indeed. I''m seeing the doc on Wednesday.
Still, the clocks have gone on, and summer''s coming. Every cloud, etc.
Just a little update. I saw my GP in the week, and told him about my megapanic. It was all to do with my having been present at my Dad''s death. He had a set of coronary thromboses, shortly after an operation to remove gallstones. I broke his breastbone doing CPR but the coroner said nothing on earth would have saved him. He was 58.
This was 33 years ago but I''ve never been able to let it go. It just set the coping stone on existing anxieties.
The GP, after a discussion, gave me a beta blocker for any such event as last weeks''panic.
Meanwhile, the divorce - and the email demands - continue. But I know for sure that she''s running on a shoestring. Therefore, my fighting back continues.
The situation becomes still more strange as time passes.
Just to recap, estate agents (prompted by my STBX despite my warnings) valued the house at £240,000. I employed a professional to do a court-admissible Red Book valuation. .. £215,000, which is realistic.
She, through her solicitor, refused to accept this figure. She wanted for us to jointly name an ''acceptable'' valuer. I replied, saying I''m perfectly happy with the valuation...if she isn''t, pay for another valuation.
She''s doing so, there''s an appointment in a week.
To me, this is either calling my bluff and/or seeking a higher figure so she gets more money/reduces the value of my settlement.
Currently, we''re £10,000 apart if she accepts the figures. She''s going to shell out about £300 or so, I expect for a similar figure. If it''s much higher, I''ll refuse to accept it.
Is it just my feeling, or is her action a mad waste of time and money?