Life on the razor''s edge

dear naziam, thank you so much for the information, looks like I have my work cut out for me now and god only knows what I will find. I received a request from him today urging me to settle quickly so as to avoid paying capital gains tax before end of tax year in april, is this true and is that true. thank you again

I don''t know enough about your situation to comment on the specifics as it''s true the end of the tax year is soon but why would that have any relevance on your divorce settlement ?

I would urge you not to settle anything until you personally are confident you understand the financial situation as it effects you as you will only get one chance at this.

Most high street solicitors will offer you half an hour of free advice if money is an issue and there''s nothing like sitting down with someone face to face and talking through the situation.

thank you again naziam, the excuse he is giving is that unless we settle and divide everything we would have to pay large sums if we don''t by end of tax year, he wants a Clean Break there is the FMH, two other properties and a family home in spain. is it true then that if we don''t settle before then we would be paying large sums in cgt ? he is surely putting the pressure as it I haven''t suffered enough with this abusive, controlling sbtx. this is not helping. appreciate your input with sincere gratitude.

Have you registered your "home rights" on your home with the land registry to stop him disposing of it.

I would generally say if someone is trying to rush you into making a decision presumably without anyone with experience looking over the settlement then there is a high possibility they are trying to cheat you.

Capital gains tax is described below.

www.gov.uk/capital-gains-tax/overview

Every year you have a personal allowance so it refreshes every year. It only occur''s when you sell something. I don''t know the exact reason he''s given or the asset he or his company is trying to sell so it''s difficult to say and I would now treat everything he''s saying as untrue unless some independent third party agree''s that it is true but I don''t have enough information to say either way.

It sounds like there''s a fair bit of money involved in this situation and you would be wise to slow this whole process down, ignore any pressure to speed it up and tell him you need to seek the independent advice of a solicitor and once you have taken advice you can then make a decision on how you want to proceed.

If he has a magic trick to avoid cgt then either he explains it to you like an adult and you can make an informed decision or you tell him no.

You don''t want to take the risk of HMRC possibly coming after you for the money in the future.

I''m with Naziam, if you are being rushed into something without full information about how and why cgt would be different after 6 April, then it''s highly likely he''s pulling a fast one. Ask him to explain his reasoning in writing. There''s probably no cgt on the FMH, if you have both been living there, that leaves the other properties. How much did they cost, is there a mortgage, what are they worth? How long have you had them? Did either of you ever live in them? There''s masses of questions to be answered before you can work out tax liability.

In many respects, this thread of mine went off topic. No blame attaches to anyone for this. However, as I remain on the razor''s edge, airing my current feelings seems to me to be not a bad move.

As matters stand, STBX and I are less than £7,000 apart financially. This, of course, is assuming she can''t find a way of retaining monies that are in the marital pot, and a way of not accepting the debts that are in her remit to accept.

For my part, there are questions to consider...

Is the difference worth a court battle? I think that if she insists upon one, it''ll be motivated by nothing worthier than spite.

Is she running out of funds? From the tone of her e-mails about the business, I think so. As far as I''m aware, she hasn''t got a backer, whereas I do.

Will happiness ever be available to me again? A tricky one. She put me through three years of trying to make things right, thus revealing her true colours. As ever, I''ve done my best to be fair. She''s imposed a ''restraining order'' of her own making. Don''t go near where she''s living now, If you go near the business and if she''s there, the door stays locked.
In my opinion, this is nothing more than an illustration of her guilt and paranoia. I''m not a violent man and in all honesty, I have no interest in exacting revenge in any physical manner.

Is no news good news? I know this is a war or attrition. I''ve fired a couple of broadsides via the solicitor, making my offer still harder to refuse. However, all this isn''t doing me any good at all.She doesn''t know this, nor will she.

What to do? For now, I''m doing my part of running the business. I''m doing work of my own, and occupying myself with my projects and hobbies. I''ve a funeral to attend next week (best friend''s father) and a medium-sized bit of surgery in a fortnight.

The taxing part is that I''m struggling with an old, old problem. I used to suffer very badly with anxiety and agoraphobia. I worked had with a psychologist on a ''cure'' and it worked to a great extent. But the monsters aren''t entirely dead.
It''s one of those things that is to be expected when one is under stress. But if it starts to beat me, then she is beating me - this isn''t going to happen.

Just some (non-random) thoughts - sorry if it''s boring. A problem shared may not be a problem halved but it helps to write it down.