Just thought I would vent my frustrations here, hoping that I will feel better about things.
Me and the wife have split, it''s now roughly a month and a half.
I''ve had to move out, her request. We did talk before our intended split about divorce, she stated it was over and it was the only way to go as we both made each other unhappy. She agreed that I could still see my 3 year old daughter.
Since we split, she as done nothing but run me down, with abusive, hurtful texts and emails. Every time I ask for contact with my daughter.
She has refused me contact with my daughter every single time I ask, I''m now at the point where I took the advice of not contacting her. It lasted just over a week!! I can not stop thinking about my daughter, from morning till night she is the only thing I think about. It''s making me quiet at work, I don''t talk much as I''m constantly thinking of my daughter.
I have no friends or family as exwife disapproved of anybody I got freindly with.
So here I find myself alone with only thoughts of the daughter I have not seen for over a month and a half!! It''s killing me, I try to be strong, I try to keep myself active, but the last week I just can''t be ars3d...
Why would someone go back on what was agreed amicably and use kids as a weapon? Does she not think about what this is doing to our daughter? It''s bad enough going through a split/divorce, but for her to then deny the child any contact with her dad is sick, I''m so angry and mixed up, just need to vent this and they do say it''s good to write things down and get it if your chest....... I''ll wait and see if it works.
I''m just so so disappointed with the whole situation, no friends no family no where to turn. I even contacted a divorce recovery workshop, only to be told they don''t run till November!!! Is everything against me, I feel like it is and for what? I fell out of love with my wife after 25 years, but I still love her!! Just that we both know we are no good for each other anymore.
I''ve spoke to a solicitor and he is willing (as they all are) to contact ex and request visits for me and my daughter, but I just can''t make that last desicion to say yes ok do it, as I know it will upset things even more and I''ll never get to see my little baby.
Enough of my rant for now, as I''m in floods of tears!! What a mess!!!!!!
It''s okay to have rant and vent here,we have al done it in the past.
You will see a similar with the rest of us..
The ex''s never mean what they say,say what they mean,and lie when they want
Basically they cannot be trusted full stop...
Your post is so very sad,yes even if you have both decided to divorce,she is using your daughter for further damage towards you.Basically that is vicious and cruel to both you and your little girl,who is obviously the innocent in all of this,and wondering where her Daddy has gone.
Your STBX is using her strongest weapon,and thats wrong,nobody should use kids as pawns in a divorce,unless there is violence involved,and that can also be supervised,so no-one should use their kids.
I would certainly instigate some action regarding contact,this is clearly making you ill,and you have to remain strong for the future.
Regarding yourself,try to stay strong and positive,we are all here for you,and these early days are so very hard.I had my family and friends around me,but I still struggled with everything.I am sure that there will be someone you can speak to in those darkest moments,even family who live a distance away,just someone you can share your feelings with.
When you decide that divorce is the way to go,you need a backup system in place also,we experiance so many differing emotions in this malarky,and its better if you can deal with them as you go along,those emotions really do take a battering and you need someone there for you also.
Sorry I have nothing constructive to offer you,but I am sure that others who walked a similar path to yourself will be along to help you...