Hi. My husband has just told me he's leaving me. I knew we were having problems obviously, but never thought it would come to this. I'm really really struggling. I love him so much, I don't know how I'm going to live without him.
What's worse is that he blames me for everything. Where he has hate for me to channel as strength, i am left with regret for what i could or couldnt have done, and guilt for not being able to rectify.
I cannot see a life without him. To imagine him happy in the future with someone else kills me to the core. I cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel and even if i do, i am petrified for the life that awaits me.
What the hell are we going to do? This has changed my life and I will never recover
I don't see any future. I'm going to have to leave my home and live on my own for the first time in my life. I've been with my husband for 28 years married 13. He's practically been my whole life! I'm terrified, I'm terrified being on my own for the rest of my life.
I also feel so ashamed, it's ridiculous! But everyone has always looked up to our relationship so the thought of telling people...
I just wanted to post and send you some ((((hugs)))). I can not begin to imagine what you are going through, but I am glad you have found this site and the support of each other. You will soon see there are many others here who are or have been through what you are experiencing right now. You are suffering the loss of a marriage and there is a grieving process you will go through. People grieve in different ways and everyone takes their own time to come to terms with their new circumstances. The emotional side of divorce is harder on you, your husband's have made their choice and already come to terms with their decision. Where as you probably feel like you've just been hit by a bus!
Take your time, lean on you friends and family and you will heal. It may not feel like it right now but you can be happy and move on. it just won't be the life you planned. You will be stronger and more independent for it.