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Can't see light at the end of tunnel.

  • doris2017
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18 Mar 17 #490137 by doris2017
Topic started by doris2017
Hi all.
I am struggling with my divorce stress.
I am single mum to three children.
My husband is divorcing me after 4 years amicable separation and is taking me to court in 2 weeks to try to force the sale of the family home where i currently live with my three children. It has all turned very nasty as there is lots of equity (£350k) in the family home and my husband wants his share out now. I am not in a position to buy him out or take on the mortgage so will be asking the court for a Mesher order to remain in the family home.

I had to tell my two oldest children (16 & 12) this week that their father is divorcing me and wants to sell the family home.
They are already aware that their father has not supported them financially over the past 4 years, I didn't pursue him for money as I wanted to keep the relationship with him as smooth as possible (I have now made an application to the CMS)
The relationship and contact with my husband and the children has been smooth and consistent and we all chose to overlook the lack of financial support.
My two oldest children are now utterly devastated that their father wishes them to leave their family home where the have always lived. They feel utterly betrayed as he has not told them himself and has been hiding it from them for the best part of a year. They no longer wish to see or speak to him. I have not told my youngest (9) about what is going on as she absolutely adores her daddy and they have a wonderful relationship. I don't want to destroy this for her. She will only end up confused and distressed but how much longer can i keep it from her and how should I tell her? She is obviously aware that something is going on as the older two no longer see their father.
Along with dealing with my own feelings, distress and extreme stress, I am struggling to protect my children from this situation and would love some support on how to help my children.

  • NellNoRegrets
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18 Mar 17 #490153 by NellNoRegrets
Reply from NellNoRegrets
Hi Doris

I don't know that I can be of much use - both my children think their father is a bit of a twit and they were older and more aware when we split up.

I know you want to protect your daughter but she is going to find out eventually and may be upset with you for not telling her the truth.

You don't have to say her father is a knobhead, but just say that now you and he don't live together any more you have to sort out things and that may mean moving out of the family home.

She will have her own views about things. My sons certainly saw things differently from the way I expected them to. They think their father is a bit of a twit but they are still on speaking terms with him and see him every other week or so - they're in their 20s now so make their own arrangements.

I am sure other Wikis will have been in similar situations and can offer advice. I just didn't want you to feel ignored.

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