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How do you let go and move on?

  • Declan
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28 Mar 17 #490548 by Declan
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It will be the first of many . There are turning points in our life . Mindset changes that help us to move on . As you slowly discover your worth and power , then more will come . You, will gain strength and power and eventually be free . Free , to be you and not worry what others may think or say .

You are doing ok . And Moona, is offering a lot of support .

You are going to be ok .

D

  • RedPoppies
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29 Mar 17 #490551 by RedPoppies
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Thank you both


I thought of you today Declan when he said 'I wasn't the woman I thought I was' .... 'no, I'm even better than that!' I replied. And maybe I am

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29 Mar 17 #490555 by Moona50
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Poppies

If you are anything like me you will discover things about yourself you never knew. That is an amazing thing to happen in later middle age (for me!)

Trauma and pain are hellish to go through but you undoubtedly learn something from it. Something valuable - not resentment or anger or destructive stuff like that which only serves to affect you at the end of the day.

You learn about your own character and you rebuild. Someone on here said it is like learning a new language - you have to learn to live with the fact that this has happened, have to learn to live with all the feelings it throws up, have to learn to live with the fact that your life will be different now, have to learn to live with the fact that you need to be much more self-reliant.

All these things you simply cannot learn immediately - it takes time and effort, like learning a new language. In time you will be come fluent.

Hope you have a good day and, if you don't, that is OK too - just write it off and move on.

Chin up.

M x

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29 Mar 17 #490556 by Mitchum
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Good for you! Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are good enough.

It's very early days for you still and you might be a bit emotionally disoriented for now, but you'll soon realise that it’s time to think about what you need. Ask yourself, "What was it costing me to be in this marriage?"

If you totally lost yourself in loving someone who has let you down, then the cost was too high. When you are ready to accept that and move through it, that’s where wikis will help you a lot.

Think about your needs now. It may still take several months to gain clarity about your long-term goals so don't be overly concerned if you can't see exactly what you want right now, just allow yourself to get through each day and take practical steps to secure your financial future.

How can we begin to accept all this and let go? We can take a positive step by not listening to the negative voices in our head. You may feel like your life is over and you’ve lost everything or that you’ll never recover from this. Accept that this is not true, it’s just a new beginning for you. At some point you have to say, "It is what it is." That is when acceptance dawns.

When you're ready you will begin to choose to create new memories with new friends in places you’ve never been, or doing things you thought were beyond you. Think of a future you, with your self-esteem restored, confident and happy. That’s what acceptance meant to me.

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30 Mar 17 #490624 by RedPoppies
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Wobbling at work. Done Rescue Remedy & tried thinking of other stuff but am in a meeting room with 8 clients and about to fall apart. Can't get out of my head his lies & deceit. " Stuck on a loop

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30 Mar 17 #490632 by Moona50
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I remember it well. Just breathe and only concentrate on getting through the next few minutes.

Download an app called "Headspace". It really helped me in these situations.

You'll get there Poppies - this is all perfectly natural to feel like this. It will pass.

M

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30 Mar 17 #490643 by Declan
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Red
Your doing just great sister. Like your response to ex. And yes you are a better woman already... and tell him he's going to see a lot more changes. Knock him off the pedestal.

The loop, the overthinking . Be very careful with that . It can cause all sorts of unpleasant emotions. Remember , you have the power to change. The lies the deceit, yes it happened. Accept that he is not perfect ,he is flawed as we all have flaws. All you have is the right here and the right now. That is all you had in the meeting . Everything else is stories you tell yourself. The stories about the past and stories about the future . Hell, i do not know whats going to happen in the next five minutes. So why worry about it . Equally why trouble myself with the past . Learn . Move on i say.

Since i got in the here and now life is much better , its real.

So, his lies and deceit. Thats his he owns that not you, , why do you allow such thoughts to worry you. Its over , past gone done with. No amount of going over that pain will change it. Do not hinder your recovery by allowing such thoughts to consume you. Find your way of not allowing this.

Ruminating over it all is a big block in recovery and healing .

So, if it is not serving you why bother .

Crack on
You are doing great
d

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