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Here comes the anxiety again

  • Grrrrrrrrrr01
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03 May 17 #491819 by Grrrrrrrrrr01
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Hi Rob, not sure if my story can add to anything for you, but my ex was a big drinker, it made her very violent & aggressive, i got to the point one night where i couldn't take anymore, called the Police got her arrested.

The Police advised me to leave, which i did, It's odd because no matter what she she put me through, when it was all finalised i felt i had a heavy heart, but at the same time was relieved.

I lost everything, home, ended up with a ruined credit rate bcos of her, but i have my health, job & i've finally moved on.

You won't awlays feel like this, i can assure you, it does get better:) my friend,

Best Wishes G

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03 May 17 #491825 by WinterFrost
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Rob, Are you suffering from depression? Have a word with your GP. There's no magic cure (from personal experience) but the GP could prescribe something to lift your mood.

WF

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04 May 17 #491842 by Rob6
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Winter, not sure about depression but certainly anxiety. Though I believe one can bring on the other. Just feel generally rubbish at the moment. As I said I'm doing all the right things and I've just got to hope things will turn around. The divorce was only finalised a month ago, so have to give it time...

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04 May 17 #491844 by Dotti6157
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Hi Rob
I agree with Bubblegum, Your feelings are perfectly natural this is your body and mind talking to you. I too am in the last stage of my divorce and financial settlement, The whole episode has caused me great stress and upset but I looked for people to tell me that it will be okay and many on this site have supported me and without them God knows what would have happened to me.
Yesterday I received a draft of the Consent Order and I read through it but didn't really take much notice until I read.
The Applicant shall within 14 days of this order apply for the Decree Absolute..
This knocked the We are here on this site living day lights out of me and I in fact took my sleeping tablets at 4pm and went to bed so that I didn't have to face that its nearly over. I am the applicant and I think every day if I have done the right thing and I still love my stbx dearly 25 years wed is along time but my common-sense part of my mind keeps pooping up saying yes you have done the right thing because if you had not taken the steps to divorce the torture that I was having whilst with my wife would never have ended. So today I have a clear head and will read the consent order time and time again so that I can see that everything is as it should be and tomorrow I will post it.
This is the begging of the end. and from now on everyday will be brighter. We are on this site to learn understand and most of all help one another so keep writing and I promise that you will find the support you need from us all and I wish you good luck.

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04 May 17 #491846 by Rob6
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Dotti, thanks for the reply. Yes receiving the letters through from the court I always found incredibly harrowing and even seemed to affect me physically, as well as mentally. I remember when the Absolute arrived and looking back I suppose I was pretty much numb. It's only in the last few weeks that I have really started to "feel it", the fact that it's all over. I suppose it's only now that I can - hopefully - start to move on and maybe this is the most painful part of the healing process: the finality and the letting go. It's good to talk to others going through the same hell.

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04 May 17 #491847 by Dotti6157
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Hi Rob
Yes its time for our wounds to heal and look for the brighter side of life.
When I realised my marrage was over and I moved 547 miles north of my wife it took a couple of months for me to grieve I think it is worse than when I lost my father but slowly the pain of losing him started to heal and I think that this is worse than losing him but I can see a light now. and the healing has started and what I want to do now is to help and comfort others that are going through this process kindness given costs nothing but is priceless to those who accept it. ( my new moto)
Best wishes my friend

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04 May 17 #491848 by WinterFrost
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Well, at least you don't have to sit in a room with the stbx and solicitors and be savaged by the family judge. My marriage, and divorce, was in France and that's the way they do things there. I had to travel to France just for that. I was called a shit by the judge who only had half the story and had to keep my mouth shut as she was threatening to cancel the whole procedure. I felt like chucking myself under the first bus when I left the courts. Divorce is the pits.

WF

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