Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. I think it's normal to have off days ( at least I hope so ! ).
I am 7 months on from being left for the OW. It's only really the last few weeks that I've noticed the sun shining through the trees. I think you are a bit further on time wise but I am trying to realise this will always probably hurt. It's a physical and mental scar that will always leave a mark. I imagine some days it will itch more than others.
I currently am sad listening to everyone else's family holiday plans. I know myself and the kids will never have that experience again and that hurts. But..... I am remembering we had some brilliant times away, he can't take those memories and I will just have to make new ones with the kids. Not what I ever wanted but it will be ok.
I think someone on here said the only thing stopping a person moving on is themselves. I definitely have been holding myself back because my stupid head would never cease thinking about it all. It's got better and it will get better still. But I'll never forget the lost hopes and dreams and I imagine it is the same for you.
It's good to can admit to yourself that you are not having a great time at the moment. It's hard sometimes to keep talking to friends as they expect you to be 'over it' by now. I honestly don't think until you walk this horrible walk you have any idea of the pain. I certainly didn't.
I am sorry I haven't much useful to offer but I just wanted to sympathise.
Come on Buddy pick yourself up. I have the same ups and downs but we both know there is a good light at the end of the tunnel. you helped me not so long back and I read your posts all the time
the better weather is coming and I will head for the Munroe's with the dogs and you are always welcome
I have nearly finished with the logal's and am looking forward to this bright future you told me about so lets look for it together. you can always get me on here if you need to shout out aloud
cheer up time heals and you have loads of friends hereB)
Come on M, you have been my shining star who has kept me on track, it's just a wobble and you know that - like you told me, you can't just wipe it from your memory! I keep having to remind myself he was my husband for a lot longer than he has been such a twunt .....