Today is the first day I haven't screamed, balled, cried, ranted and raged in a long time ...
STBX has basically cleared out our bank accounts and refusing to replace money he has spent on all sorts of nonsense. Solicitor sent letter asking him to return funds, he has ignored and nothing has since happened and I am now worried sick as there is NO money to pay the bills that will start again from 2/5 including the mortgage on our home - in joint names - most of the bills (utilities etc) are in his sole name and because of that they won't speak to me about it "data protection" ...
I thought that behaviour was bad enough until I came home on Friday to find he has ransacked the house .... our bed, sofa, fridge, freezer, TV, DVD etc etc etc has gone, gone, gone and he sent me an email to tell me he would be back for other stuff as and when ....
How the hell do I stop this?! He owes a LOT of money into our joint and business accounts now and has taken all this stuff from the house - it is our stuff so maybe he has the "right" to take what he wants but surely as the financial settlement (still not agreed but) proposes that all contents are divided equally by agreement NOT just "rock up with a van and help yourself while I am out" ....
He's cleared out literally thousands of pounds worth of stuff from the house AND the bank accounts - what can I do?! Surely there must be something??
Stress doesn't come close to describe how I am feeling - damn scared too of where this will all end!!!
What a very distressing situation, but try to hang in there. There is something you can do but you need your lawyer to help you.
See the post from Betsy1 below as she's in a similar situation. You will see that Dukey says you need form s37 MCA 1973.
If he's been hiding, stealing or spending the assets without agreement and before you've been able to secure them, a court can provide some sort of remedy after the fact. He doesn't have the right to remove all that stuff. He can take his personal belongings and any personal gifts. Items bought with joint money or e.g. wedding presents, must be shared. He owes you half of the value or whatever percentage is finally settled between you.
When it comes time to divide marital property in the divorce decree, the judge can take into account any assets that he has removed/spent - dissipated, and reduce his share of the assets by the amount.
Act fast. Can you find receipts for things? Get some paperwork together. Make an inventory of what's gone. Photograph rooms.
Talk to your lawyer asap and tell them everything. They should be able to find some resolution and stop him from removing any more things.
The money is another issue and perhaps other knowledgeable wikis will have advice about that.
Thinking of you and wishing you through this. As my barrister said about my ex, 'He's one piece of work this guy'.
I was certainly not in such a situation as you Red with money. But I too was subjected to my ex removing everything not screwed down from my house and moving it directly into hers. The microwave, vacuum, every Cd and DVD we owned. Pictures from walls, the TV, 2 play-stations, games, books, mugs, plates, furniture, computers, the goldfish! The tampons (same sex marriage) clothes- we shared a lot of clothes being two women. She took them! Teabags! INSANE. She said "can you get the spare TV from your sister - because as of today the kids don't have a telly" - and then took the telly. SHe left me no shampoo. She got so petty! We had a row about the washing machine. She was going to leave me and her two children with no washer. Her excuse, that she had spent so much money on her new house for her new lover that she couldn't afford one. My heart bled for her She left......her wedding dress, wedding photos, anything like that. Horrible.
I could have fought it out - but in the end, i just couldn't care really. I've slowly replaced things. Done a bit of redecorating, made it my own. Less stuff to leave unpleasant or sad memories.
It really depends on the value of the assets I guess. What my ex took did mount up, but it totalled less than firstly the solicitor costs might have been to argue it, and also less than my mental health was worth.
Regards the bank accounts though - how dispicable. ANyone with any ounce of self pride fro at least TRY to split things.
Your ex is indeed a thieving barsteward. Gte your legal people on to it.
Indeed. Change the locks. He might have the legal right to be in the house, but he is robbing you whilst there.
The police ore reluctant to get involved, its a civil matter. It would take ages for the things to to be in place for them to force you to open the door to him. Perhaps in which time you could have more legal things in place to stop him?
Joint accounts? YOU empty them now. Open accounts in you name and pop the dosh there. Two can play nasty. Maybe you should start to. Get everything you can and hide it/hoard it. Keep records of everything you have done - for legal purposes later. But protect yourself NOW.