Subject title says it all really! Thought I was doing fairly well all things considered then tonight had a bit of a wobble, all said and done. Hate when I think I'm so close to being in a much better place in every way then everything just completely overwhelms me and I find myself in a deep ,dark hole. I know I can and indeed do have the resources within myself to climb back out it's just that I can't seem to help myself when I fall into the dam hole in the first place!!
I'm just at the beginning of the whole dreadful saga and I'm wishing my life away to be at the end of it all, I know I have to live through it but part of me just wants to close my eyes and when I open them again I want to be "there" when it is done and dusted .
Hate the person he has made me become , this isn't the real me and I'm waiting for an apology that isn't going to be given . Rant over now!
You will be ok but I know the feeling of wishing life away, just wanting it all done and dusted. It helped me to print off the time line I found on this site and fill in dates ie how soon after application for nisi I was likely to hear and when I next had to do anything then I 'forgot about it' until the next date on my calendar. Focusing on something else helped too, going places I wanted to, doing things for myself, all distraction but it passed time usefully and made me feel more positive.
I had lots of wobbles and tried to see them as part of the process of accepting the new situation, sometimes emotions just needed to be let out - walking and crying, listening to music, talking to friends all helped but time is the only real solution, just try to get as much enjoyment as possible out of the time it takes.
This probably all sounds useless, when I felt good and was coping I thought I was 'over it' and I didn't need suggestions, when I felt like I was going under I didn't listen and couldn't believe anything would ever get sorted let alone that I'd ever be happy - it was a roller coaster but it gets better. At least you know you aren't alone, be gentle with yourself.
Thanks Smudge64, Feeling better for some sleep and at long last I'm beginning to sleep again at night which is a big plus after surviving on one hour a night!
You must be a great comfort to your friend as I can assure you it's the support that I'm lucky to be receiving from my friends that is helping me to get through this day by day.
I have these very feelings, one minute OK then bang, i truly know how you are as it is a natural feeling to be up and down, the trick s to never just harbour this feeling of depression when all things seem difficult and life is scary, speak to anyone, mother, friend, sister, brother, anyone who you know to speak thru your feelings of anxiety and get back on track to a happier you.
Thanks for your message Zxbird, Things have certainly moved on since my last post in that the FH has been sold and we have gone our separate ways. Funny but leaving the FH wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be, think the stress of the actual moving day was the worst part and was so happy to close the front door on my own new home . Still have the formalities of the divorce of course but feel that they will be more manageable now that the hurdle of setting up on my own has been overcome. Unable to talk to family for all sorts of reasons but have plenty of brilliant, supportive friends! There has been one major occurrence that has impacted greatly on my life but cannot go into detail in case stbex is using this forum.