A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Still struggling

  • Declan
  • Declan's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
21 Jul 17 #494694 by Declan
Reply from Declan

Divorce is one of the most painful and complicated things you'll ever experience.. No one can fix you . We have to learn to fix ourselves . The hard truth is we have to do the thinking, the planning,the learning , the experimenting and the work . For me I had to feel the pain and go through it . I could not heal by proxy .

It is all up to us it is our life .No matter how much people love you and care about you they cannot fix you . It is our responsibility and life purpose to make life one that you enjoy and cherish .

I was married a long time , to change from having someone at your side to share your life to being well your own advocate is painful transformation.

However, let me say this . Stepping into your own power is very very liberating . Total power over yourself . Accepting responsibility for yourself and fixing the problems in your life are truly empowering. Making changes that mean something to you are important . It does not matter if the men anything to anyone else because it is not your job to please others .

It is your job to please you .

As I changed not everything worked . I made mistakes . Big mistakes . They were my mistakes no one else mistakes . No one to blame . They were part of my learning . Pieces of my life that shaped the man I am today .

I read a book . The Soverign Man . ... wow .. it sure helped me realise how I had been in the past . Depending on the world to supply what I needed instead of going to get what I needed.

So as painful and horrible as divorce is . I am grateful for my divorce because it allowed me to start my ongoing discovery of me.
I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like had I not got divorced . Would I have have woken up to the fact that I am the one in charge of me and creating my life as I want it .

So as clawed and others have written . Let go old life build a brand new one . A life to relish and cherish

To repeat Clawed ..... Hang in there . Decide what life you want . Then go get it .

I continue to learn and grow .


  • Fifty plus
  • Fifty plus's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
21 Jul 17 #494711 by Fifty plus
Reply from Fifty plus
Thank you for all your comments. It is coming up to my anniversary which is difficult but I can see the truth in everything you say. I do need to change but it is so difficult- especially living with my boys and in the same house.I am surrounded by memories which is really hard. I know I need to let go - I just don't really know how. I'll keep trying though.

  • Declan
  • Declan's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
22 Jul 17 #494722 by Declan
Reply from Declan

Small steps my friend . Yes anniversary are tough . However you will survive . I lived in FMH for a while after she went . I told myself every day that I will get through it .

May I ask

Why do you think your Ex is responsible for your happiness ?

Yes it is tough to let go and it is not easy . When you have done the work on yourself the rewards soon come , you will come to realise that if someone does not want to be with you then it is wise to let go . Kiss the past goodbye and embrace your future . Trust me it's there .


Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11