It’s 3.15 am and I already got up and tried to sleep back into my bed about 5 times since 1 am.
I applied for divorce with my wife in Mar. I’ve had the worst last one month of my life. My love for fitness has only brought me back to life. But there are these periods of sleepless nights which drive me crazy.
I have a 7.5 year old beautiful daughter. My wife earns more than double than I do & is hell bent right now to drain me of my finances. Part of the reason for my stress is the dearth of money. I can see all my savings going over to the Solicitors.
I know my stbx for past 22 years since my school days. We both moved away emotionally from each other few years back due to incompatibility. The rift only widened as time went by. I got her to UK & she also earned a citizenship on my visa. As soon as she got citizenship I got to see her colours & also learnt the evil side of financial independence.
I need serious help coping with this loneliness. . I am so afraid of the nights coz I can’t sleep at times inspite of working out so much at the gym.
Is there any meet up taking place soon in London? I would love to meet some people who can share their experiences.
I’m sorry you are finding it so hard.
This forum was what got me through when I was going through my divorce. Hearing stories from other people who could relate to my circumstances was comforting and supporting others helped me take my mind off my situation. Divorce is stressful and we all have different ways of coping with the stress. It’s good that you are using exercise to help. I have friends who have practiced mindfulness and meditation to help deal with the racing thoughts in the dead of the night and they were very positive about the effectiveness. Nights are definitely the worst. What you are feeling is normal and manybof is are either going through it or have been at some point. I found music really helped me when I was at my lowest.
I am in the process of arranging a wikimeet in London on 19 May. It is of course open to all members. I will add details on the community events page of this site. I think talking to people really does help and there are plenty of people here who want to listen and be a friend. The meet ups are great to meet new people and talk though things but also to remind us that there is life after divorce and we usually find plenty to laugh about!
The waking in the night is absolutely normal, but draining when you feel you just need a good sleep and to shut it all out. The worst time for me was just before dawn, but I quickly learned that it was better to get up and do something to stop the thoughts spiralling round in my brain.
I know it's not everyone's treatment of choice, but I had acupuncture to push the waking to nearer to 6.00 a.m. She told me that in Traditional Chinese medicine the hours between 3.00 and 5.00 a.m. are the grieving hours. It certainly made sense to me. Even when I hadn't tried to sleep till midnight, I still woke up a few minutes either side of 3.00 a.m. but the acupuncture helped me. Others have used sleep CDs and relaxation music. Lavender on the pillow. Whatever works for you.
Try to spend time with people who make you feel positive about yourself. Keep going with the exercise as that helps the feel good factor. Concentrate on your little girl and if you're doing the best for her, you're doing it right. Let her know that you love her and that none of this is her fault.
I've had 15 hours sleep since 6am Thursday (it's now Bank Holiday Monday) which was the day the shizzle-storm landed and my ex told me she wasn't going to sign the land registry transfer TR1 that would have been the final step in settling everything. I'm being evicted in 6 weeks and I've nowhere to go. Totally unfair as I had a year's warning of the eviction and I sorted out everything as quickly as I could, Consent Order, mortgage, bank, pension, the lot. Met all the fees and costs myself, hired solicitors... then rug pulled at the last minute.