The home counties indeed, which is what makes property such a thorny issue. There's no assistance for this, except if you own a storage company ha ha, but I just wanted to let you know that the mental anguish that keeps us up at night is a perfectly normal neurological response to the situation that we find ourselves in. I have a doctor's appointment because the suddenness of the about face and the last minute nature of it all has triggered that course of action. No doubt the doctor will offer some pills, but as far as I'm concerned that's for when you can't sleep and you _don't_ have any big worries hanging over your head. My brain is working just fine.
You exercise you say, but this is what, just gym based activity? Is there any social element to that? In this good weather, outdoors activity, circuit training is something to do.
From what you say, you're worried about finances, but if she earns more than you, let HER chase you for money. If you've not lied on your forms, can provide evidence of income and outgoings, you're not rattling around in a house three times the size you need, have kept all the communications with her, record phone calls and do most of it by text and email, you've nothing to worry about. The first and most important part of the process is provision for the children. Kids need parents. The courts will make an order for that before anything else, and with overnight residence comes relief in the needs assessment. She won't have any grounds to exclude access to the child, will she?
I would just like to say that I was once on the emotional rollercoaster when I seperated and divorced six years ago .
And yes I too hit the gym , still do in fact and never looked back for doing that .
You mention Loneliness . Yes , I too felt that, I also felt a lot of other not so pleasant emotions .
I went to work on myself . I took responsibility for me . The Loneliness you feel is just a feeling coming from fear . I did not feel lonely when involved in my music , hitting the gym , working, socialising with family and friends , reading . I only felt lonely when I entertained the thought . And that is all it is a thought creates the feeling .
I am scared I am not good enough
I am scared I will always be alone
I am scared of the future
I am scared I will not cope
I am scared
Well trust me put away those fears and go find you . The person that you are meant to be .
There is nothing that you need to feel whole and complete that lives outside of you . You are complete and enough as you are . Realise that you are unique and learn to accept that if no one wants to be with you then let them go with love . We all deserve to be happy and at peace .
As for me I through myself into looking after my health , my love of music and playing acoustic guitar . I also read widely attend support groups . I sorted out my social life and reconnected with family .i ventured out alone . Going for walks , meals out .. I travelled alone . Bought a new home made it my own . Made sure my finances are in order .
I came to love myself and accept life and me .
If I can do it then so can anyone else . Change your thoughts change your world your life and start to live the life you want and learn to say no to things that do not serve your needs . Accept others for who they are .
May I suggest you read The Journey by Mary Oliver ... that was my first read and it sure set me on the correct path.
So my friend , when you wake in the night feeling low and lonely . Remember , it's a thought emanating from a fear and has no truth or substance whatsoever . You are telling yourself a lie .
I wish you well on your journey my friend . This Divorce happened for you not too you . A great opportunity has arisen now for you .
As for the Ex that's what she is now an Ex ... you are still you no less a person