A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Trying My Best

  • fishoutofwater100
  • fishoutofwater100's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
26 Oct 20 #514589 by fishoutofwater100
Topic started by fishoutofwater100
Hi Everyone

After a few months of trawling - I finally found this website - what a relief!!

Basically my husband received some defamatory information about me accusing me of having an affair (all false) I have given him every shred of evidence I can to disprove this - phone bills, bank statements testaments from friends as to where I have been at certain times. Despite this he will not believe me and so within 10 days of receiving this information has filed for a divorce on directgov.

Following receiving the papers I consulted with a solicitor and we decided to defend the divorce given that he had drafted it himself (clearly in anger) and the allegations did not make sense. During this period he agreed to go to couples therapy with me, he attended one session and then refused to continue as he said he did not want to save the relationship.

After a very unpleasant few weeks living together this finally culminated in a heated argument which ended with him calling the emergency services and alleging that I assaulted him (untrue). At this point he decided to consult with a solicitor, I then got a letter from them which I passed straight to my solicitor accusing me of assaulting him on multiple occasions and to please confirm if I wish to buy him out of our marital home!!!

I am getting the necessary legal advice on what has been a truly shocking turn of events for me and my mental health has suffered greatly. Loss of appetite / weight loss, lack of sleep, motivation etc.

We don't have any kids and have been married for 4 years, I am receiving regular counselling sessions to help but I am finding it really tough living together. He won't leave which I find very odd given that his solicitor has made it plain that he doesn't want to buy me out. When I have asked him why he doesn't want to work on our marriage he just says that he wasn't happy before the allegation and he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I never get anything of substance which makes it so hard for me to deal with.

Any advice would be gratefully received, I have a good support network but as good as they are no one has actually been through this situation.

Thanks in advance

  • JDM1982
  • JDM1982's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
28 Nov 20 #514905 by JDM1982
Reply from JDM1982
Unfortunately, I’m not really able to give you any advice about the legal side of your unfortunate situation.
What I will say is this..........
I am so sorry that your going through this. I know it’s beyond painful at the moment and feels like so much to take in. It does get easier and you’ve got to keep doing your best, I wish you all the luck.

  • readyplayerone
  • readyplayerone's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
01 Dec 20 #514944 by readyplayerone
Reply from readyplayerone
This situation must be alot to process and it is good to hear that you are seeking support.

I have found the Divorce Podcast by Kate Daly a useful resource. I found it on Spotify. One of the episodes featured a divorce coach you can find on the web, named Claire Black. Her website is another useful resource. In that episode, Claire did discuss the situation where a person is still living with their soon to be divorced partner.

I hope everything works out positively for you. 🤗

  • fishoutofwater100
  • fishoutofwater100's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
04 Dec 20 #514974 by fishoutofwater100
Reply from fishoutofwater100
Thank you so much for your kind words it certainly is a lot to deal with - I will certainly try the podcast.

Will keep you all posted xx

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11