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Saying Yes

  • Sun 13
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22 Jun 08 #27919 by Sun 13
Topic started by Sun 13
First post in the new section to me! :)

A while ago I posted that after an intial period of sulking follwing my finding out about my wife's affair, when I was constantly staying in and being miserable, I decided to stop saying no to offers of support and distraction and just to say 'Yes' to every offer I got for a month or so. As I mentioned, as a result of this I've been to a few gigs, had a week in Jersey, lots of nights out, meals and weekends away. It's been a bit tiring - for example when we were in Jersey, I said yes to any activity that came up, when some of the group said no and had a bit of a rest and a cuppa. But as result I did a lot of things on my holiday that I wouldn't otherwise have done I've also had to come in from work a few times and dash straight out when I haven't really felt in the mood, but again I've done things I wouldn't have by saying 'No'. Also, as I may already have mentioned ( :))I'm off to Glastonbury in a few days time, which I'm really looking forward to

When I was watching Jonathan Ross on Friday, Danny Wallace was on saying that he tried exactly the same thing (but probably a little bit further than me - he even said Yes to double glazing cold calls) and has written a book about it. His book has now been turned into a film with Jim Carey!

So how about anyone who is feeling a bit down just trying the 'Yes Month'. For a month, no turning down any invitations, offers of help, drinks after work, etc and see how you all get on

By the end on my month, I was ready for a bit of time alone, as the things I had to think about do actually needed a bit of thought, but they were all still there waiting for me, and at least I'd had a few good times in the meantime and it certainly got me out of the sulking stage. I know Carriewaiting has started on this and has had at least one night out

So how about it people?

  • Soupdragon
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22 Jun 08 #27922 by Soupdragon
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You're obviously not as skint as me.
If I had disposable income I'd certainly not be in this godforsaken country right now.

  • Sun 13
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22 Jun 08 #27925 by Sun 13
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It certainly did hit me in the wallet. But I've sold some stuff on eBay to help out, and tbh friends have bought tickets and things for me, which I will pay them back for.

Worth every penny tho

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22 Jun 08 #27926 by rubytuesday
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I remember reading a novel about 4 women, all recently divorced who decided to say "yes" to all invitaions, etc for an entire year - and the outcomes of what happened.

Its a good idea, and may think about trying it. What I have found myself doing since my x2b left is taking as many opportunites as I can to enhance the lives of my children and myself - so maybe thats similar to your "yes month"?

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22 Jun 08 #27932 by megan
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I did the same as I couldn't stay in alone.
It is now 7 months down the line and I find I can now be a bit more selective. I even get to say no sometimes which is novel as I got so used to always saying yes.
The opportunities I have had have been incredible and they didn't all cost.
When he left I thought this year would be a right off, but looking back amongst the tears and heartbreak (and there was and still is loads of that) there will have been some exciting and challenging times too.
I will get back from my Indian adventure a year to the week he left. What a difference a year makes!!!!!

  • kidsinbulgaria
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22 Jun 08 #27933 by kidsinbulgaria
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I must try this. Sounds a very positive attitude to take.

Word of Warning

Saying yes can become habit forming, please remember to turn off your automatic "yes" answer when dealing with your stbx and their sols.

You may regret saying "yes" to these kind offers:-

'Can I take 100% of the proceeds from the house sale to save you the burden of the finances'

'Can I take the kids to Bulgaria to live permanently'

Mike

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22 Jun 08 #27938 by megan
Reply from megan
Yes Kids I can see where your coming from with that one.

Yes of course I will sign the form for a mortgage holiday ( to fund your affair )
was not one of my better decisions !!!

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