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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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named as a co-respondent

  • sageangel
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05 Aug 11 #281426 by sageangel
Topic started by sageangel
Please help! I find myself in a situation which is just unbelievable! I've been named as a co respondent to adulterey in my partners divorce from his ex. She is the Petitioner.

My partner is adamant we haven't committed adultery because he left her a long time before we met. He will not agree to the adultery and wants to get the Petition changed to something else.

He returned the petition to court denying the adultery with an explanation. My solicitor returned whatever document I had to do also denying the adultery. My partner has now had a letter from the court with her explanation of why it is adultery, and he still disagrees.

What happens next? Am I going to be taken to court to be questioned about when we met and what we do together?

  • pixy
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05 Aug 11 #281428 by pixy
Reply from pixy
They are not divorced. It's adultery.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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05 Aug 11 #281429 by MrsMathsisfun
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My understanding is that your partner can only be divorced on adultery if he agrees to sign as he doesn't agree then the divorce cant go ahead on those grounds and the other party will be advised to go for unreasonable behaviour.

  • cookie2
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05 Aug 11 #281431 by cookie2
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As co-respondent you're wasting your money with a solicitor. Simply throw all correspondence sent to you into the bin. Their divorce is not your business. No you won't have top go to court.

Adultery is having sex with someone who is not your spouse. So technically he has committed it. If he does not want to admit it on a divorce form then he can simply deny it. No letters are necessary just a denial. Then the onus is on her to prove it and the only way to prove it to a court is to have some very explicit pictures or a child with a paternity test. If she can't prove it then her Petition will be refused.

I am a little worried that he sent an "explanation" to the court though. This is not normally required. Did this explanation say that he did have sex with you but only after they split? Because technically this is adultery and his "explanation" could be seen as a confession.

  • Marshy_
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05 Aug 11 #281433 by Marshy_
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As others have said its adultary as they are not divorced.

There is no shame in admitting adultary. And you have commited adultary.

Being divorced on the grounds of adultary carries no penalty except for say costs of the divorce. If you somehow manage to change the plea from adultary to unreasonable behavour, she is sure to cite your "innaproriate relationship" with him on the pettion. This is like saying he has commited adultary.

If you want my advice, sign the papers and return them admiting adultary. The divorce will be done quickly and at the standard cost of around £300. If you argue or try and get things changed, you are just adding to the cost and there will be a huge delay in proceedings. And for what? The divorce will still happen and the outcome will be exactly the same. And they may try and get an additonal costs award from him. Its just not worth it. Get this done and you can all get on with yr lives. Hope this helps. C.

  • rubytuesday
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05 Aug 11 #281437 by rubytuesday
Reply from rubytuesday
I agree with Cookie.

Naming a co-respondent complicates matters (a) because the co-respondent has to sign the document - and why should s/he?, so matters get delayed (b) because the main respondent gets upset at new partner being involved and upset, gets defensive/angry and less co-operative about anything else.

It can cost more because as a result of (a) and (b) above there is likely to be a great deal more solicitor involvement trying to move things forward, thus increasing the costs as letters, emails and phone calls fly between the parties....

Its not common to name a co-respondent as Family Law Protocols discourage petitioners from doing so unless there is an exceptional reason in favour of this action. The naming of a co-respondent may create hostility between the parties and the respondent may be encouraged to defend the divorce petition. Usually the reason for naming a co-respondent is so that the Petitioner in order to seek an order for costs against them.

It should also be remembered that there are time limits involved in adultery. A person who intends petitioning for divorce on this ground must do so within six months of becoming aware of the adultery (which is not the same as within six months of it taking place) otherwise he/she is taken to have "condoned" it.

As others have said, adultery is having consensual sexual intercourse with someone else other than your spouse whilst you are still legally married to them. If your partner has sent an "explanation" stating that he doesn't believe it to be adultery because he and his wife separated long before you two got together, thats as good as an admission :s

  • sageangel
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05 Aug 11 #281498 by sageangel
Reply from sageangel
This is really helpful advice, thank you.
What I find so unbelievable is that this divorce is NOTHING to do with me!!This is not my business and its not my marriage that's dissolving- its their's! So why the hell have I been named..?

But to know that I won't have to stand up in court is such a relief. I will continue to bin the paperwork.

The explanation he sent was about the separation being due to him having a change of feelings towards her because of her behaviour and not because he had met someone else. It included the dates we met which was significantly after they split, and confirming that we are now in a relationship. But there is no evidence or photos or confirmation of intercourse. He has been through all the texts and emails over the last 4 months and intercourse between us has not been mentioned or confessed to.
How will the petitioner prove the adultery without the evidence? And what counts as evidence? The admission of having a new girlfriend?

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