Having read Butterfly Girl's post at the beginning of this thread I thought this would be a good place to start. I don't remember quite how I got where and to whom but I used the number on this website - paid £29 + and waited for a callback. They were busy so it took an hour or so. I armed myself with notes to the key circumstances surrounding my wife and myself.
The lady I spoke to was pleasant but, in truth, not helpful and, I felt (perhaps wrongly) that she was antagonistic towards me. Perhaps i'm wrong, but that was my impression. She was not a divorce practitioner, nor a lawyer, nor it seemed (and I asked) experienced in or with Family Law. When I asked for advice on specific points she remained silent and when I pushed her for an answer she said she couldn't give me a view without having the details in front of her. But - I had given her the (genuine) facts in my preamble. For example, in discussing Ancillary Relief it seemed that it was all one way - me to my wife - despite the fact I earn £18K and my wife £35K. Is that right? I've been made redundant and face unemployment as I'm more or less at the retirement age (or what was the retirement age) whereas she is half my age. Perhaps the age difference is really the cause of my advisor's lack of advice. What she doesn't realise is that we've been really happy but she (my wife) is now on a different road.
Putting aside the costs of using a solicitor, my wife and I had started a divorce but stopped it when our respective solicitors (both allegedly "mediators") sprung into the offensive. It wasn't the way my wife and I wanted to go. And the costs racked up like an F1 race. So, we tried mediation but after the first interview my wife gave up (I wanted to go on) - perhaps because she lives with someone else?
So, who can I talk to via this website about my/our specific circumstances? I need to get it right so I can be fair to my wife, our son and myself. And, I won't get another chance at my age and with my employment prospects. I certainly don't want to meet anyone else (I love my wife) but i need to sort things out.
Any suggestions - please?
The line you called was not the wikivorce free advice line that Butterfly Girl was talking about but the paid for (although very very much cheaper than a solicitor) legal help line.
The wikivorce line is really there to tell people about their options if they are thinking about using the services available via wikivorce - such as Consent Order, fixed price divorce etc.
The site is a wealth of information - you can look in the library or search thousands of previous posts using the search bar at the top of the page.
If you want to ask about your specific circumstances and get some advice from the wikivorce community, the best approach is to post a question here in the forum. If you want ask about finances there are some details we would need to know to help effectively.
Look at this post www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...-gets-the-house.html
The questions to which we need answers are in there - plus there is more information about financial settlements on divorce.
Many thanks. Like the avatar. Think mine had better be a grumpy old man!
I'll take your advice and do some research and look at the link. I had considered seeking advice from the community as a whole but decided not to as i was concerned that my wife (or her friends/colleagues) might spot my questions and identify me. Our circumstances are (i think) a good guide as to who I/we am/are and many (the majority) of my wife's friends are separated/divorced/ getting divorced. And, I think it would really upset my wife if she saw things about us in the public domain.
I actually find all of this very sad not just for my wife/our son/me but everything seems to be unraveling. Even my neighbours have split and I thought they were a rock-solid couple/family.
Anyway thanks again - I'll do some research and try to draw relevant comparisons.
I spoke with someone (you know who you are:) ) this morning and I got more detailed information off this person than I got off my Solicitor - so I just wanted to say thankyou so much and this service is worth every penny it must cost to run it. The person gave me the information in a way I could understand (not legal speak) and I now feel better able to look at the bigger picture instead of getting worried and caught up in the emotional nonsense that divorce brings - so thankyou so much to all who have made this possible.
I just want to big up what you have all said. I spoke to a lovely man called Carl who helped me so much. He had more knowledge than all the high street solicitors I''ve spoken to. A huge huge thank you
Don''t forget, if anyone would like to leave some feedback about Wikivorce, you can do that on our feedback page -
- a simple thank you is very much appreciated by our dedicated volunteers who freely give their time to help members.